sigh.

Some of you know my story, I left my husband in july after four difficult years.

In April he got arrested for inappropriate conversations with a 15 year old girl, the charge was harassment. /he is consumed with anger and resentment about the effect this has had on his life. He lost his business and me.  I left in July.

I was doing okay, I had signed up for Uni and started in September. He came up a few times with some of my things and it didnt feel quite finished, although he insisted he still wanted to divorce with a 'maybe we can get remarried later'. I was confused.

In October he asked me out on a date. and I hesitated and thought long and hard. and I went out with him. So we are dating again. I live in Lincoln, he lives in Cambridge. Initially I was dosappointed in myself. I know my family will be too. No one knows on my side just yet. 

On Firday we were chatting and he suggested we go out o a nightclub, now its really not my thing and I said so. I then sent a text to my daughter saying ...he wants to go to a nightclub OMG! ...but by mistake I sent it to HIM! Uh oh. Anyway. after some serious shit being thrown and accusations from him that I was sending it to a man it all got sorted out. the next night I travelled down to see him and when I got there he was still out at a dance. We originally met doing Ceroc and he was at a freestyle night, I knew he was going. Whatever. When he came in he was really happy to see me and we cuddled a little. then I realised he didnt have his wedding ring on.

He had taken it off to go out. After some probing. He said he didnt want to appear married and he didnt know why. He just kept saying he didnt know why, I kept saying he needs to think about it and tell me whats going on here. He insisted we wear our rings. and he said he wore it while he was teaching, he took it off because I had made him angry the night before with the text thing. If I hadnt had a whisky when I arrived I would have walked right there. First of all he told me he was trying to protect me from being associated with him should it come out about his conviction he didnt want anyone to know he had a wife. And when we talked about it later he told me he was still angry from the night before. 

I was pretty devastated to see him not wearing his ring. He has a cheating past and I thought it meant he was on the prowl. 

He is a bit of an emotional mess, hes consumed with rage from this conviction which has stopped him from being able to work with children. 

when we are not together he rings me and texts me when he says he will. He has supported me financially. When we are together he is loving and kind and thoughtful. But somehow I feel he isnt fully committed to me, I cant explain it at all. I have talked to him about it and he says because he isnt sure what will happen in the future with his conviction. He is trying to get it removed and is sueing the Police for wrongful arrest. 

I feel like hes playing with me. I dont know. I just feel uneasy. When I try and talk it through with him he just gets cross that I have brought it up again and that I cant seem to uderstand how he is in turmoil at the moment and not himself. He just says hes going through a lot. 

I thought he was a Psychopath, Im not sure if he is or if he is an emotionally unavailable CoDependent. He is very jealous and insecure. He is convinced I am not being fathful ( which I am) I dont know what I thought I was doing getting back involved with him. I wanted to see if I could see him clearly from a distance. I just missed him. I told him I want a fully open and honest relationship and we make plans for the future. I was very upset about his ring not being worn. It smells bad. 

I wanted to work at this and not chuck it in, I wanted to work at having a healthy relationship and being strong and assertive about my needs. I find myself feeling clingy and insecure, needing reassurance all the time. He treats me well when we are together on the whole. I dont like feeling like that. He just says I should give him a break and cut him some slack with what hes going through.

Anyone find me some clarity here.