I am in complete shock. Not to mention very embarrassed by my own reaction. I am more numb than hurt right now but I expect the pain will start soon and not looking forward to it. I have had my fair share of relationships that ended but never ever like this. We had a fight about a month ago seemed to be working things out. He swore he loved me. Then last week he says he feels like has to call and hes feeling pressured. I freaked out a bit at first then backed off no big deal. I have seen many guys do this before. He was supposed to come over yesterday and spend the day with me and I heard nothing from him at all. Was very worried about him so I did keep trying to call. I get a freaking text of all things this morning saying leave me alone. Um no if this was his way of ending it I was not going to let it happen by a text. Wrote him back and said as much. We have been together 10 months I deserve a little more than that. He called and this is what I was told. Even though I have never ever told him he could not do anything he feels trapped. He does not want to be in a relationship with anyone.Not me or anyone else. Never wants to get married again, have to call someone every day again none of that. I really wish he would have thought of this 10 months ago would have saved me a lot of pain. He said he did love me but has fallen out of love. I was and am in complete shock. Except for this last week there was no warning.
Now here was my reaction. If I could only go back in time and smack myself. Very embarrassing to admit but I am thinking maybe if I write this down and see how foolish i was it will not happen again. I tell him I don't want to end it and we should keep trying. I tell him I think hes just feeling pressured. I also tell him we should give this 2 more weeks and see if he feels any different. He says he will stay two more weeks if it makes it easier on me but he will still tell me in the end he no longer wants to do this and the end will still be the same. I said OK because some part of me just is not accepting what he is saying. I just kept wanting to talk and talk about it trying to tell him hes wrong. He never hesitated was very sure in his decision. It is starting to sink in though and the pain is coming. I know the correct thing to do. The correct thing to do is to accept what he is telling me and try to salvage some of my dignity and let him go. I know if you love something you have to let it go and cant keep holding onto it if it wants to leave. I just know as soon as I do that the pain is going to be damn near unbearable when I do. Not sure if knowing its coming in two weeks or doing it now is worse. I want to hope but I also know a guy that is going to try and leave you through a text no longer cares. Not sure What I am looking for from everyone. Maybe to be told what I already now and that's to just call him and let the man have his freedom and to move on. Maybe I just needed to write it down so people would answer and I would not feel so alone right now. Anything thanks to those that are taking the time to read this