Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I know this a ridiculous claim, but I get anxiety thinking about how different my spouse and I are and then I get overwhelmed with these thoughts that he would be so much happier with someone he actually had things in common with. The main thing we have in common is our children, and that is well enough, but when it comes to all these little things...I just don't know.
I know he loves me and that should be all that matters. But for some reason I can't get over the fact that I can't be "everything" to him.
I know he loves me and that should be all that matters. But for some reason I can't get over the fact that I can't be "everything" to him.
Try to think of it as a recipe like sweet and sour sauce together they make an excellent dip. Well in your case your differences might be very attractive to him in ways you don't even realize. Anyway you might want to discuss your feelings with your spouse. Perhaps taking a bit of time to spend together without the kids around might just relieve a lot of that anxiety.
It is amazing how overwhelming anxiety can be at times and I think even doing some little fun things or finding new things that the two of you could do together will help a great deal. I hope this helps a bit for you. Wishing you the very best:)
Also, you don't have to be his "everything" in order for your marriage to be good. Sometimes differences are good.
I have read a lot about relationships since going through my divorce and starting another relationship. Sharing core values is important, but common interests are not. So it doesn't matter if he likes sports and you don't, or you like to dance and he doesn't. It DOES matter, however, if you differ drastically in your views on raising children, concepts of right and wrong, and what takes top priority in life. Someone whose passion is volunteering to help the hungry might not mesh well with a materialistic spender, for example. Those are biggies. Hobbies and interests are minor in the big picture.
That totally makes sense, that the little differences should matter less than the major things, such as raising children.
Thank u all again
I agree, it's important to have SOME things in common (as you do, your children), but the differences are what make the relationship spicy, electric, interesting.
Maybe both of you take up some new hobby or something, that the kids can enjoy too? Some type of physical activity in a park? Throw frisbee? Go hking? Swimming in a heated (brrr...cold this time of year) pool? Bowling? Something that doesn't break the bank financially...