#14

Stand-up is very much harder but worth the effort !

Koolman, no matter how much you love her - if you're incompatible sexually it won't work - that's my humble opinion anyway. No, sex isn't the be all and end all - but put it this way, with it - you see your relationship in colour, without - it's black and white.

Been there, done it AND got the damn t-shirt (having been married for 13 years to a real fucker - and *not* in the literal sense of the word either) who had zilch interest in sex - well sex with me anyway, not with the harem or women he used to go around and collect - there's no way in heaven, earth or hell I would go back there again and repeat the experience.

If sex is an issue - it's a problem and not one to ignore and hope it will fix itself.

Thanks, alex. Yeah, sex is priority one from here on out, at least early in the relationship, either with this woman or someone else. Knowing full well that the fires will fizzle over time, they better be sizzling red-hot in the beginning. We'll work on love too, but that physical spark has to be there. I am hunkier now than I was 3 years ago, and this woman notices this--she cuddled up to me way more hotly recently than in the past (I've been through some heavy emotional shit and am exercising a lot more). We'll see...

But I feel like an asshole for posting the original thread. The woman is just working extremely hard and I feel so ungrateful for not appreciating the limited amount of time and energy she does devote to us; she really just doesn't have time for a relationship. So...why the hell did she contact me after 3 years? Desperate, I guess. I think I'm the only person in the whole world who is sweet to her (her family is not--they work her like a dog). Feeling like an asshole and really sad about digging a knife into her with my texts. But (sigh) she did contact me today and said it was a good day. Who knows, maybe this'll make us stronger-!

my 2 cents....I think you made your mind up. You put your self down though. it sounds to me the lightning is sticking through her tong man. Has she ever had sex? Did I miss that.....I thought that is what guys want. A good girl. Buddy she thinks your hot and if you are having hot and heavy make out sessions she wants you. I personally wouldn't kiss someone I didn't want to bone. He-He bone.

If having sex early on in a relationship is important to you and saving herself for marriage is important to her, then you should both quit wasting time with and on each other! That's the topic of conversation you should be discussing with her.
Saving herself for marriage makes her a pretty rara avis and she deserves a man who can appreciate that and who respects and values her position. (Even if it's NOT prone!!)
And since it sounds like you are specifically NOT looking for that kind of woman, why not make a point of having the talk that will settle the issue, once and for all? No matter how early on in the relationship you expect to have sex, it should at least be after the two of you can speak frankly about it. Just to get the lay of the land ..... so to speak!

Thanks!!!

Yes, I've come to these exact same conclusions. She tells me she's a virgin at 45 (and, judging by her ineptness, I believe it). I've discussed what I'd like to do to her and asked her if she ever played with her pussy, and she says "NO!!!" ? She's a great kisser though!!! Kissing for me is just a warmup to other things; for her, I think she thinks kissing IS sex, the grand finale and the end of the evening. It's very nice, but it's just a warmup for me.

Where we're at now is we're just going to be phone friends for awhile and see if we can talk everything out, and simply get to know each other intellectually for awhile. I think this is the other problem--that we dove right into romance without really skimming along the outer layers of our personalities...I think, once we talk on the phone, we'll find out we have very little in common, our lives are very different, WE are a bit too different for each other, and it'll just sort of naturally fizzle out, as it probably should. But I'm not completely giving up on us yet, and I'll talk to her on the phone for awhile.

Kool I know you'll find your perfect woman one day. She'll be lucky to have you too. Remember all the DS women love you.

I don't think this is they one for you though. You want to be naughtier than she is comfortable with and time won't fix that.

Thanks!!!

OK, I'll put this thread to bed...

The ideal relationship is someone you can respect, admire and love and also experience primitive lust with.

Koolman,

For years I waited for my former husband to passionately and primitively want me and it never happened. I wasted so many frustrating years with him. Please don't do what I did.

There are plenty of nice, sweet and lusty women out there who would love to meet a man like you. Don't settle for second best.

Thanks so much, ladies. I love you too!

Get a room you two !

lol

Hey Koolman:

I won't bore you with the usual "talk to her", which for any lovers is important, but I think that you know this. You've expressed your needs, so whatever decisions you make just be true to your sense of honor as well as passion. Maybe she'll surprise you? Maybe you'll both heave a sigh of relief? I don't know. But I do wish you the best.