Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I'm bored so I thought that I'd just post something to pass the time.
I've been dating again for a bit. It's not completely intentional.
The relationships usually start out as friends but usually turn in to something more. The downside is that i don't feel any passion for or from these girls. Sure I find them attractive but the passion isn't there. I don't really feel it from them and the sex isn't the best. I usually try to make them happy but after I feel like I've done my job, I turn over and go to sleep.
I have made a lot of female friends. They're great as friends but when we go out they usually suggest that I come back to their place to watch some TV or whatever. I stupidly agree.
Or this happens She comes to my house and drops her car off and we go out to dinner and then a bar, We stay out really late and she might have drank a bit and I usually ask if she wants to just sleep over. I only have 1 bed. I could be a gentleman and sleep on the couch but no we get in bed together.
I have a bit of a manic side. When I go out to have a little fun I get really happy. I am the life of the party. I have a lot of friends usually by the end of the night. I get manic and loud. I drink a bit but that's not why I'm so giddy. I usually only have a crown and coke or something like that. When the night is coming to an end I try anything to keep the fun going. In all honesty I don't like coming down off my high alone so that is probably a big reason why things end up in the bedroom.
I know that this is very different from a lot of my posts.
I know that I'm not being a good friend to these girls.
I know that by what I'm doing that I'm fucking up a possibly good friendships and maybe more.
I know that I am just as bad as the girl that I mentioned in my other post (should I go).
I do find myself very caring and compassionate for other people's feelings but my manic side comes out and I just want to have a little fun.
I have a dark passenger who is a perverted sex freak.
Dexter fans will get a kick out of that.
I know what I'm doing wrong. I probably need to just run home and masterbate when the night is coming to an end. It's hard for me to find passion because I don't let the relationship evolve to its full potential.
I have hurt some good friends.
Just wanted to share on how much of an ass I'very been lately and then getting pissed about a friend of mine dressing up in a slutty outfit.
Yeah I'm a prick!
Just kinda figuring out this as I type!
I probably could have posted this in my Journal.
Much more fun posting here!
I've been dating again for a bit. It's not completely intentional.
The relationships usually start out as friends but usually turn in to something more. The downside is that i don't feel any passion for or from these girls. Sure I find them attractive but the passion isn't there. I don't really feel it from them and the sex isn't the best. I usually try to make them happy but after I feel like I've done my job, I turn over and go to sleep.
I have made a lot of female friends. They're great as friends but when we go out they usually suggest that I come back to their place to watch some TV or whatever. I stupidly agree.
Or this happens She comes to my house and drops her car off and we go out to dinner and then a bar, We stay out really late and she might have drank a bit and I usually ask if she wants to just sleep over. I only have 1 bed. I could be a gentleman and sleep on the couch but no we get in bed together.
I have a bit of a manic side. When I go out to have a little fun I get really happy. I am the life of the party. I have a lot of friends usually by the end of the night. I get manic and loud. I drink a bit but that's not why I'm so giddy. I usually only have a crown and coke or something like that. When the night is coming to an end I try anything to keep the fun going. In all honesty I don't like coming down off my high alone so that is probably a big reason why things end up in the bedroom.
I know that this is very different from a lot of my posts.
I know that I'm not being a good friend to these girls.
I know that by what I'm doing that I'm fucking up a possibly good friendships and maybe more.
I know that I am just as bad as the girl that I mentioned in my other post (should I go).
I do find myself very caring and compassionate for other people's feelings but my manic side comes out and I just want to have a little fun.
I have a dark passenger who is a perverted sex freak.
Dexter fans will get a kick out of that.
I know what I'm doing wrong. I probably need to just run home and masterbate when the night is coming to an end. It's hard for me to find passion because I don't let the relationship evolve to its full potential.
I have hurt some good friends.
Just wanted to share on how much of an ass I'very been lately and then getting pissed about a friend of mine dressing up in a slutty outfit.
Yeah I'm a prick!
Just kinda figuring out this as I type!
I probably could have posted this in my Journal.
Much more fun posting here!
I hope that whatever you are looking for in life you find and that you will be happy. I know that you always say that you don't need anyone to be happy but it sounds to me like you actually want to be with someone and that is okay. Nothing wrong with that at all.
We are all works in progress.
If that's all you want, get a dog.....Seriously - You're a decent guy, you're becoming very self-aware of your faults and folibles (and we ALL HAVE THEM!!!!) but from your posts, you leap into things with women without knowing them, and when you do get to know them you dont like what you find.
If you just want sex, stop calling them FRIENDS. You don't have to be friends to fuck.
I think that the best thing for me is to immerse myself into some work that I'm passionate about. Find something else besides women and sex to pass my time.
I have a couple of hobbies that I find great joy in doing and maybe make a profit as well.
Patience, empathy, understanding, and the ability to forgive yourself. And, of course, keep others in mind as you go through this process. You aren't a prick...we all have made choices we aren't proud of...that's life. You brought the ladies home but they also chose to go home with you. I have had one night stands...not many but I have, admittedly. I didn't think, after a few hours of drinking, I was finding the love of my life. I knew I wasn't. And I didn't get all pissy and think I was taken advantage of...I certainly made a choice too! So, maybe you were using them but they may have been using you too. Obviously, it only temporarily fills a void and you're left feeling empty and alone.
But, admittance is the first step. Seems you somewhat know how to go about getting what you want/need...just realize this isn't an overnight process. It takes years of shit to pile up and the shit doesn't come off any quicker.
Good luck to you!
~Michelle
So you're saying you feel LUST but not passion? It feels mechanical? If so, I can relate.
To level out your "manic" highs and lows, instead of alcohol, may I suggest bicycling? Works for me! Produces a natural, healthy endorphin high that lasts longer than an alcohol buzz, and there's no hangover.
I wouldn't cut out the ladies entirely, because they are life's finer things and can certainly be easy on the eyes, a pleasure to look at as well as can be silky to the touch. I would cut back on the ladies, however, relegate them to very part-time status.
Michelle thank you very much for your comment and how your path has sort of crossed mine. Nice to get a woman's point of view.
Koolman. As usual you give out great advice and help me look at things in a different perspective. That helps a lot.