My husband constantly gives me the silent treatment and it's usually over the smallest of arguments! It's mentally draining!! Sometimes I don't even know what I have done or said to upset him but I know I have done something because he is not speaking to me! Instead of communicating about the issue like an adult, he is just ignoring me. I walk around on eggshells, hoping that the ice will melt quickly and there can just be peace for a few days until something else annoys or upsets him!
I have recently done a lot of research on silent treatment and why it is used in relationships. I always thought I was to blame and would always give in and apologize as I can not handle the anxiety I experience when I am ignored for days/weeks! I battle to concentrate at work and I am already on anti-depressants. The silent treatment is a common game of emotional chicken that can be extremely debilitating to a marriage, I know this!! I know this way of dealing with issues is not productive, there needs to be communication! I have told him this over 100 times but he does not take me seriously. I am tired of crying, begging for forgiveness, asking him to please talk to me, pleading with him to not get annoyed so quickly...I am TIRED!!
I have realized this is a way to try and inflict emotional pain on me as a consequence of his feelings of anger or frustration. I have realized he is trying to control me and the situation. We have been married for 27 years, I have only now figured out that this behavior is WRONG and I can not believe that I have put up with this for so many years.
He tells me I am the problem. If I have an opinion and it's not what he wants to hear, I am being disrespectful because I do not agree with him. Everything needs to go his way otherwise he sulks. What we need is counseling, a mediator but we can not afford this and he will definitely not pay for someone to tell him he has issues! He can be such a sweetheart when things go his way and he is happy, but these monthly silent treatments are wearing me thin! We past discussing our issues, he is stubborn and will not try and see my point of view.
I so badly want to scream at the top of my lungs why are you ruining our marriage but I can not and it won't solve anything either!! He tells me he wants peace and loves me very much, he says he could not live without me, then why would he behave this way.
How do I get him to realize this is unacceptable behavior and he needs to stop!! I need him to take me seriously!! Any advice please would be so appreciated!!
It's a lovely sunny day that's great for a walk but my chronic kidney disease or CKD has depleted my energy today and I am barely able to get out of bed. I walk on a cane because of it because usually I can push through with 40% kidney function and therefore only 40% oxygen in my blood for energy. But about once a month or so willpower can't push through and neuropathy pain is high, too. It...