Healthy Relationships Support Group
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...is the one between our own two ears and within our own chests. Even though even that relationship can be a war zone, just sayin'.
The link that Just a simple guy provided and the book I always recommend "The Four Agreements" can be very useful tools in helping people with self defeating thought processes find their way.
In my opinion the path out of the "poor me stage" HAS to be the path of self acceptance and knowing we are perfect just the way we are, we deserve no less and no more than every other human on this planet.
Many people seem to be out of the "poor me " stage, and while they appear productive and successful by societies standards, they aren't really preforming from a place of joy and self motivation, they are preforming because they would be ashamed and guilt ridden if they don't put on an "eminence front" for the other humans. They are judgmental towards others and fear judgment as well.
so I guess what I'm trying to say is, we should make sure we motivate our children in a way that makes taking action joyful and not " If I don't achieve this, I'm a loser" mindset.
http://pathwaytohappiness.com/sound_files/emotional_reactions.mp3
At the root of 'parasites', 'pain bodies' and 'emotional fields' is simple thinking driven by belief systems we've built up and agreed to over a lifetime of experience. More often than not this thinking is going on below the radar and is manifested in emotions reactions.
This is where the importance of mindfulness/raised awareness comes into play, by being able to perceive the internal conversation at its beginning and recognize it for what it is.
Simply observing/witnessing the nature and process of thinking without engaging/judging it is very powerful, but it takes practice. The more practice, the better one becomes.
This is the basement level, much like quantum mechanics is the basement level of physics. Understanding and training at this level percolates up to the layers resting on, and influenced by it. It underpins our perception of and reaction to experience.
I hold mindfulness in a separate compartment and I'm more interested in the neuroscientific and psychological benefits, and how to cultivate it through meditation.
My favorite mindfulness video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TeWvf-nfpA
In any case, as much as the mind affects the brain. I'm fascinated by how the brain equally affects the mind.
Just one example, toxoplasmosis and the brain.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3x3TMdkGdQ
(Sapolsky is a behavioral nuerobiologist)cc...;/;.9999999999999
The amygdala is also altered by mindfulness meditation. Not only does it recover to baseline quicker in meditators, but with more and more practice it activates closer and closer to the point an anticipated external stress is actually introduced. So there's less anxiety before and it recovers more quickly after. Another benefit is increased mindfulness gives one more awareness and control over attaching excessive value-laden meaning to thoughts, so the amygdala is less likely to be activated by internal stressors in the first place.
http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/guest-blog/what-does-mindfulness-meditation-do-to-your-brain/
MRI scans show that after an eight-week course of mindfulness practice, the brains fight or flight center, the amygdala, appears to shrink. This primal region of the brain, associated with fear and emotion, is involved in the initiation of the bodys response to stress.
As the amygdala shrinks, the pre-frontal cortex associated with higher order brain functions such as awareness, concentration and decision-making becomes thicker.
The functional connectivity between these regions i.e. how often they are activated together also changes. The connection between the amygdala and the rest of the brain gets weaker, while the connections between areas associated with attention and concentration get stronger.
The scale of these changes correlate with the number of hours of meditation practice a person has done, says Adrienne Taren, a researcher studying mindfulness at the University of Pittsburgh.
The picture we have is that mindfulness practice increases ones ability to recruit higher order, pre-frontal cortex regions in order to down-regulate lower-order brain activity, she says.
In other words, our more primal responses to stress seem to be superseded by more thoughtful ones.
It makes me smile.
Without a doubt the Buddha was brilliant and had enormous insight in this regard. I'm constantly amazed how such a simple exercise can be so beneficial.
http://www.vipassanaforum.net/forum/index.php?page=2
For starters a 20 minute daily sitting for the first 8 weeks is good. After 8 weeks you should start to notice benefits outside of formal practice.
From there you might decide to stretch it out a bit or maybe even add another 20 minute sitting. Maybe morning and evening. I like to keep to one sitting a day in the early evening, anywhere from 30 - 45 minutes. It really depends on one's schedule and available free time.
I view it as a marathon, not a sprint. The benefits are cumulative and increase over time. I don't like to make it too demanding to the point where it becomes a burden. I'm not a monk! :-)
For timing my sittings I use my cell phone timer. It has a tone that's pleasant and not too loud.
Hope this helps!