Agreed.

I'm perplexed by the whole loneliness issue. I don't know this feeling. I know how it feels to be alone with respect to certain issues, but I've never felt lonely, if that makes sense. As in feeling alone is just another feeling while lonliness is a state of mind, an ailment that needs to be remedied. I don't feel the need to be half of a whole in order to be happy. I come across so many people who complain about being lonely and how they're searching for the one. I think this can lead to people marrying because there is a prevalent notion that coupledom = instant happiness. Well, no not really. If you're not whole on your own, nobody else is going to complete you, nobody else can "fix" your loneliness if you kwim. I guess this is on tangent, but your post got me to thinking...

I agree with Beyond, her last statement says it all..... "If you're not whole on your own, nobody else is going to complete you, nobody else can "fix" your loneliness"

There's a difference in want and need. My partner and I enjoy being together and we want a life together but we don't need a life together.

I don't believe in "the one", with 7 billion people in the world, if there were "the one", chances are you'd never find him/her.

I believe people can be with someone they are compatible with, they love each other, they want to be together, live together or get married and they are the one meaning a good match for each other at that time and place in their life.

I believe a relationship should add to your life, add to your happiness, be an extension of it but your life, your happiness shouldn't be dependent on a relationship.

Exactly Leather and Beyond.
A relationship doesn't define you. Who you are defines you. Your likes, dislikes, hobbies, morals, personal character etc etc.....the lists goes on.
Wanting and needing are two vastly different worlds. You need food, you need oxygen. They have a job to do. Want.... you want a vacation to some exotic location, you want a shiny new car. You don't need these items you desire these items.
A lot of people don't know how to be alone with themselves. Truely alone. This is when they get desperate to find the one. And then sometimes anyone will do. Standards get lowered, morals depreciate... all just not to be alone.

I'm afraid I agree with you, wm98!

I wish we all had the "grand master plan", that we knew what kind of person we would be now 20 years ago, and that we will know what kind of person we will be 20 years from now, but we continually change, and so does the person we're with.

If we can communicate effectively, and change WITH each other, I think a relationship CAN go a lifetime. But we've really got to value that relationship, above all other things.

People say "the one" and I flash back to the matrix movie series.

I believe in "the one" about as much as I believe that we live in the matrix itself.

Just for reference, I DON'T think we live in the matrix.

People say "the one" and I flash back to the matrix movie series.

I believe in "the one" about as much as I believe that we live in the matrix itself.

Just for reference, I DON'T think we live in the matrix.

i believe more in the statement "(s)he is the one for now." i think that certain people can be beneficial in your life at certain periods of time. but i also agree, if you cannot be content in your current life and with yourself, your relationship is also not likely to be happy or even content.

There are many people who I have met in my life that I consider "the one". Of all the people on the planet, it's rather limiting to think that there is only ONE person with whom you can have an intimate connection.

don't know how it's put ,my first marrage ended up in a divorce.....
I made the mistake in doing so.....didn't regret it.....
I love my new wife,have spent more time with my second wife than the first,
I know we belong together,we fell for each other after chatting and meeting up...
The best thing in life is coming home too someone who cares and loves you,and getting hugs an kisses makes it worth while coming home...
So myth or not,there is some one out there who will make you go weak at the knees turn your head and make you go gaga

So true Kool.

"We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person." -- W. Somerset Maugham

There is nothing lonelier than being in an unhealthy, unbalanced relationship. Being on your own and single is a much better way to live especially If you have good authentic friends who love you unconditionally. Sometimes romance endures and sometimes it doesn't, but true friendship is a wonderful gift. As for a lasting relationship, I believe friendship must come first. I mean, who wants to break up with their best friend? I agree with you, I don't think there is the "one", more like the "best of the bunch" depending on your life situation at that moment in time. I know there are a lot of people in the world who believe in "the one', until "the one" bites them in the butt.

Great post

I have been with my husband since I was 18 and I am 29 now. I truly believe he is my soulmate and I am lucky to have found him.

With that being said...I think everyone is different and based on their past experiences and baggage they will have a different answer.

All I can say is keep your mind and heart open to it :)

To begin with, I believe that it is totally unrealistic to expect another person to meet ALL OF YOUR NEEDS. Not sure if this is what you meant by he/she "is the one" or not, but a lot of people enter into adulthood with this myth held out in front of them.

As we get older (and wiser) we should know that we must learn to love ourselves fully and completely all by ourselves BEFORE we can even expect another person to love us as we deserve to be loved.

My grandma used to tell me "Go to marriage from a place of independence and you will never end up being dependent." She wasn't just talking about financial dependence -- she was talking about spiritual dependence!

Learn to love yourself -- ALL BY YOURSELF -- and that will set a new "standard" for finding someone to share your life with.

I see that most people look at the "one" to be an answer to all their problems...I wouldnt expect my partner to make me a full person...he just adds to the beauty around me. I dont neccessarily believe with age comes wisdom...I think the more experiences we have and how we react and deal with them defines our look out on life...The world is what you make it and you will attract what you put out there.

I believe in true love and every person has a soulmate...its just whether they are in the right state of mind to be open to it and if they are at a healthy point in their lives...If you are a drug addict
I do not believe you will be around the people, places, or things to meet your soulmate...We must be just as fulfilled and ready to find that person for the magic to happen :)

Then again some people meet there soulmate maybe at a horrible time in their life and that person helps them be a better person...I really dont think we should put limitations on love.

This has become a running thought lol hope it makes sense :)