I would just ask him if he'd like to meet for a coffee or drink, something casual low key. Maybe be specific when and where (or have an idea when and where in case he seems interested but clueless when and where), I've done that with guys who I've been texting for a while, if they seem a bit gun shy.

Usually they accept, but there was this one guy who would come up lots of excuses (yet occasionally bait, we should meet up, but was vague). In that case, I think he enjoyed the fantasy texting relationship (vs meeting face to face, real life lol).

How long has this guy been divorced? Do you know if he's dated at all since his divorce (I'm guessing you don't know)?

He has been divorced 4 years...and has not dated at all. He's a fantastic dad and puts his children first....which I highly admire. He lives an hour away from me and is working on his 2nd Masters degree right now. He's focused and driven. I'm not expecting anything at all, but I guess he's hard to read :)

Oh ok, yeah, I was wondering how far apart you live from each other (since I live in a metropolitan area, and distance is a big deal), but then assumed you live in the same town. Hm, well, if youre an hour apart, and he has a busy schedule (work, grad school, kids), Id probably leave it in his court to ask you out on the first date (or meeting).

As far as being divorced 4 years, great, he should (hopefully) be over that! As for him not having dated post-divorce, well, that can be good and bad! Usually one of two things happens: they are quick to jump into a relationship (can be scary, but not all bad if youre ok being the gatekeeper/ moderating the pace, Ive seen this work out pretty well), or they stall (afraid to make a move). Personally Id rather date someone who hasnt dated a lot versus a serial dater (who just wants to get your pants then move on).

I once dated a guy for two months, with whom I never got beyond a hug, which was actually kind of refreshing (versus being groped and grabbed within the first couple dates). Hed been divorce 4 months, and I was the first girl he dated (beyond a couple dates). I know he really liked me, I liked him too. He was a great guy, had a lot of fun with him. We spent many hours talking face to face (6 hr dates not uncommon). Had he made a move on me, I probably would have reciprocated.But then he bought a house an hour away, and we lost touch. Shortly after that, my ex-bf and I started talking again, rekindled things, only to break up again a year and a half later lol (sigh).

Sounds like this guy is interested in you, or he wouldnt message, text you so much. But Id be careful to not fall into the trap, of it just being texts/ message buddies *unless* of course that is what you want too (kind of like I mentioned before, some people prefer fantasy texting/ online relationship versus face to face relationship, which is ok if both are in agreement).

Again, I'd probably leave it in his court (to set up a face to face meeting/ date), but I don't think it'd hurt to drop hints either, not sure how I'd play that out with him living an hour away? Does he come to your town or you go to his town on a semi-regular basis for certain events (where you could say, next time you or me are at X place let's met up?). Or maybe ask him when he'll next be in town (without asking him on a date)?

In my world, an hour away is nothing for a good guy.
Ask him to dinner and reassure him that you understand he has other priorities in his life right now than getting into a serious relationship.
Can you handle a relationship where you might not be the number one priority, even after the kids?

Thanks, friends!

We chatted until 3 am this morning. Great conversation full of surprises.

He's often in my area for medical appointments at the VA. I'm often in his area (my old home from when I was married to my ex) too. I have many friends who live in that area, and it's a place I take my son often in the summer (on the St. Lawrence). I used to commute that trip daily to work years ago, so, that's nothing for me.

He brought up the topic of dating last night. He's very clear. I appreciate that. He tested the waters at first asking where I stand, if in involved with anyone etc. He's WAY busy with raising his boys and schooling. Truthfully, I'm in the same boat. I'm a single mom 365 days per yer, self employed, and work a nutty schedule.

We've agreed to keep the energy going, talk more, visit face to face and still take care of and focus on our responsibilities. Sounds perfect, to me.

And Bedhog, yes.....I can handle not being top priority. I'm well schooled in that. I was married to a soldier...the military comes first. I know that life.

I gladly take 2nd place to anyone's children. I know I'd need someone to do the same ad my son ALWAYS comes first.

Namaste, oh how exciting. With you guys occasionally visiting each others towns, I think something like this could work? I know youve dealt with a lot longer distances (relationships). I know youre a pretty independent busy person too. I agree with you on the kid thing, I could not date someone who didnt put their kids first. A guy who ditches his own kids (or is childless and doesnt appear to like kids), is a huge turn off to me. My kids come first, and I would expect a guy to feel the same.

I agree with Bedhog, if he seems like a nice guy (youve met several time before?), an hour apart, really isnt that big of a deal. Ive driven longer than that, daily, to work (in snow lol). What have you got to lose by asking him out (but then it sounds like he may beat you to it, based on your last post)? My main reservation on the distance thing (which probably doesnt apply to you-you have sole custody), is I have joint custody of my kids, and I cannot move the kids without my exh permission (or going to court). My exh would never agree to give me full custody because he doesnt want to pay child support. My last bf, who lived a half hour away, was in a similar situation as me (joint custody, could not move). This was a *huge* stickler in our relationship, and possibly why he was so afraid to commit (anytime wed talk about moving in together, wed hit a brick wall). But there were other issues too I bring this up, because your guy may be in a similar situation, cannot move (which is very different than a guy who only sees his kids every other weekend). If things get serious, youre likely the one who will have to move (which maybe youd be ok with, and you have full custody).

Sounds like you guys have a great connection, and I wish you best of luck! Keep us posted (excited for you!!).

I mean it in a good way, but isn't it oxymoron? "I think he is scared, what should I do?" Nothing, just keep in touch. Hopefully, it's meant to be and he will ask you out.