Your being very reasonable so stick with it . encourage him to look further and find stability with the new job leap . I think right now he just wants out of it so he'll take anything . But with his consistent record there he can move up to better with another company . Help him look and make up a good resume so he can see the potential he has for better . Don't take his frustration personal .

No one ever knows how a new job will work out. It sounds like you are being supportive and rational. It sounds like he wants out of the job he is in and is willing to jump at the first thing that is showing some kind of promise.. Doesn't seem like he is looking at the big picture though.

If this place is notorious for letting people go, then maybe he should make sure he has enough savings for at least 6-12 months so that he can find another job after he is laid offer fired - laid off would be better, at least he could collect unemployment as he seeks new employment but, .. Yeah yeah, I know, much easier said then done, who has that much money lying around.

I don't know what he does for a living, but has he contacted a head hunter? And gone on many interviews? He needs to have things to compare the new job to and not rush into something that could knowingly be disastrous for you as a family.

He accused me of being unsupportive and wanting him to be miserable all the time. He also told me I was a bad partner for lying about supporting him. Now I'm hurt and confused.

Here is the issue. Instead of trying to communicate and compromise like a partner, he is accusatory and saying nasty things about you.

Jumping ship on a job for something unreliable, when you have a family, is incredibly selfish, ill-advised, and stupid.

Idk what the circumstance were when this conversation took place, but when my guy comes home and is ranting and raving after a bad day at work and says he wants to go do something else, i dont really say anything, just listen, because when he calms down, he will likely come to his senses.
I guess my question is - was he already pissed off when this conversation took place?

Being supportive does not mean you blindly have his back in any decision he makes.
Being supportive means continuing to keep your familys best interests at heart, even if he does not.
Keep it up!

I agree with everyone here.

Being supportive does not mean being stupid.

Absolutely stand your ground.

He can miserable as fuck in his current job, but its better than taking the other job and then if he's let go? Then what? Tell him to google underemployed and unemployed and start reading the stories of those who are in that position and have been for a while and have lost absolutely everything b/c of it.

People who have decent jobs are generally clueless about how absolutely hard and soul draining it is out there right now regarding getting a good job and what he has right now might not look so bad after reading up on what its really like. He needs to grow the fuck up and put him family and that responsibility absolutely first. Sometimes we have to stay in jobs that suck b/c the alternative would suck that much more. Good jobs are not dime-a-dozen anymore. At all.

Your concerns are very valid. I believe he is just hurt and isn't thinking clearly at the moment partly because he just wants this dream of his to come true and now that it seems remotely possible he feels crushed by reality. Being supportive doesn't just mean letting people take chances, being supportive could also mean helping your loved one realize the reality of their dreams and situations, helping them come to terms with it, and supporting them by consoling them and encourage them to dream in a more realistic way.

Let him know you're on his side.... and if the mortgage situation wasn't there, nor the fact that you have kids to support, etc. then you would support his dream 150% .. the priorities of being responsible for your children is however something you both have to take into account with whichever decisions / risks / goals you have or make. Let him know you're willing to look into the possibilities of making this dream of his possible (see if you're eligible for a loan in case he does take that risk with the new job and you can have a financial safety net to fall back on in case he only does get hired for a month and he has to find something right away). Seeing that you're proactively looking for solutions will help him not look at it defensively and realize in his own time how unreasonable or reasonable his wants are. You can also think of looking at other similar companies that offer similar positions, etc.

Good luck to you both. =)

Your concerns are very valid. I think if you could maybe plan to do something for him like a romantic evening at home. Try to put a damper on all the stress give him a message watch whatever he likes to watch and show him a good evening. Get him more relaxed, show him how much you care that he works to takes care of the family and how much he is valued. Give him a good night and when he is more relaxed, bring it up. Don't start a fight but let him know that you are concerned but first you have to get him out of that bad mindset.

Rosebud makes very valid points.

He had worked overtime, so he was home at 5. He ate, took our daughter to dance (I still have kids at this time as my work days are much longer) and then came home by 7. He watched two hours of TV, ate a snack and I had already given his shoulders a rub when we talked about it.

I have taken on EVERYTHING at home to try to release some of his tension and anger. I do all the cooking, cleaning, yard work. We used to alternate bathing and teeth brushing with our daughter but I do all that now too. I rub his shoulders almost every single day. I let him pick all the TV shows, I watch Netflix if I feel like watching something else. All he has to do when he gets home is Tuesdays he takes our daughter to dance (45 mins) and Wednesdays he takes her to soccer (45 mins) then l

Okay, so youre getting stretched pretty thin yourself.
This is not fair to you. Partnerships should consist of equality - 50/50 in responsibilities.
Boundaries, girlfriend.
Him wallowing in misery and making everyone around him adjust to accomodate him doesnt do ANYONE any good. It in no way creates a positive environment.
Sometimes, as adults, we have to suck it up a bit and do some things we dont want to do for the greater good of our familys lifestyle.
Thats part of growing up and becoming a resonsible adult. You find other, more realistic ways to make yourself happy.