Healthy Relationships Support Group

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Stuck in a Rut....

bornconfused
bornconfused

we had a rough couple of months due to constanly fighting over silly things and often the same silly things... then we finally resolved the issues (to the best of our abilities) after realizing that it was taking a lot of energy to fight and that energy should be spent building the relationship... anyway, the last two- three weeks have been pretty good, not the best like it was when we first started dating, but good compared to the last couple of months.  at least that's what i thought... today out of the blue, he expresses he feelings that he feels like we are in a rut- that he feels things are routine, he feels trapped, he is no longer excited to hang out with me.  it took me by surprise because i thought things were going relatively well... 



How do i resolve our "rut"?  

rmb
rmb
How does he want to resolve the rut? It’s not just your issue to resolve; you should both be discussing it to resolve it.

I will say this and it’s not intended to hurt you but it may be his way of trying to bow out of the relationship.
Lolita_Lynn
Lolita_Lynn
I would say its good that he is telling you because he could just take it as a sign to leave the relationship. You both should talk and figure out how to get out of this "rut". Maybe a change of scenery like staying in a nice hotel in a different city, or trying a new activity like camping, hiking, biking.
Ghostwolf04
Ghostwolf04
Maybe in order to stop fighting and keep the peace you guys have shut down a lot of communication and sharing. This could have caused the rut.
Cora_Belle
Cora_Belle
And sometimes being stuck in a rut means just that. The relationship is stuck, not going anywhere. Stagnating. Sometimes being stuck in a rut means the relationship has run its course and should be terminated.

IMHO, trying to resuscitate a relationship that is dying a natural death merely adds to long term misery for both parties.
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
Do you mind if I ask how long you've been dating?
bornconfused
bornconfused
@SunCloudJD: we been dating for exactly a year now...

@Ghostwolf04: That is very insightly and puts things into perspective.... you might have a solid point there now that i think about it!

@Cora_Belle: you are right too, sadly... but it is what it is sometimes...
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