Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
When is being picky a problem when choosing somebody when your dating it seems the people I want don't want me and the people I want I don't want.
Same goes for yourself if you are attracted to someone even though it hurts that they do not feel the same way it is better they are honest with you upfront.
As for being too picky well I think it depends on that individual meaning if you are someone who focuses too much on searching for flaws you may end up not seeing a lot of the perfection you were actually looking for in the first place. For some people physical attraction is the very first quality they look for in finding a partner. Now that really isn't so bad as long you don't spend so much of your time looking for a Pamela Anderson or a Brad Pitt or whoever your perfect image of a person is. I say this because sometimes you may find the perfect image on the outside but terrbily ugly flaws inside.
I can only say that you should be very sure on what you are really looking for. For example life takes us on many different paths and there may be times when you hit some hard potholes that is the time when you really want to have a rock to fall back on so ask yourself is that person you are with going to be that rock.
You also have to be wise on how you judge someone. Nobody likes to be judged but none the less everyone is a bit judgemental about others that is natural. However, it can also go too far meaning if you are too picky and too judgemental you once again might have missed the person you were truly looking for all along. Also you yourself as we all have gone through have met people who judged us too quickly and of course you have been hurt by these actions.
My point is really get in touch with your feelings and try not to live too much on dreams. Dreams are wonderful thoughts and in those dreams everything is perfect. But you also need to have a balance with them. Look for the things that you want not just for right now but also when you grow old. Ask yourself what kind of person do you want around you when you are sick and down and out. Who will eat your burned cooking and not complain too much lol. Things like that I feel can help you find the right person.
I also say take the time to really look at the things you found wrong in each person you have went out with. Ask yourself if someone didn't like you for the same reasons is it fair and justified. If it is then it will make you feel better about decisons and you will be more confident on knowing what you want. I have always believed you should never settle for anything less then you deserve. But I also believe as I mentioned above make sure YOU really know what you want before you get serious with anyone. It sounds like to me you need more time to figure these things out and I think dating a variety of different people is probably a good thing to do right now.
Enjoy the dating and meeting new people because I think in time you will find exactly what you are looking for. It is not doomsday in hell if you don't find that special someone right away. A lot of people have waited half a lifetime before they really found the right person to be with. The important thing is to be patient and learn more about yourself and you will no doubt find what you are looking for. Best wishes to you:)