Healthy Relationships Support Group
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so it's been a few days and I still have highs and lows, but I'm starting to move forward. I'm actually getting away this weekend and heading ot Kingston with a friend of mine.
This is where stuff gets interesting and confusing. My friend, Emily, and I are very close. Always have been. She's one of my best friend's ex girlfriend. They broke up in the summer and she took awhile getting over him.
I was taking this trip but was afraid of crashing since i do have low points and figured it'd be better to have someone else with me. Well she volunteered right away. I even brought up the fact that we'd have to share a bed for the days we're there. She said that it wouldn't be a problem at all and had a sly grin. I pushed that aside. Later on last night I was talking about how it wouldn't be so bad if I was at least having sex with someone else and again with the same grin she said "too bad I'm celibate...but that could change". That was harder to dismiss.
This morning I was joking around with her because I'm starting to feel like the old confident me again and I'm getting happier with less sad moments. She said she likes the happier version of me. I told her I like when she's happier and haven't seen her smile this much in along time. She brought up the trip and said "I sure hope a vacation with a sweet guy will change that".
My confusion is that I'm starting to think she may be putting out signals of having feelings for me, but I'm still recovering and don't really need a rebound. A big part of me does want to pursue it, but I'm kind of out of practice with this. Don't know what to do at all, if I make a move, if I don't...what move to make, what moves not to make. I don't think I'd be able to turn it away if the oppurtunity arose.
Please help
This is where stuff gets interesting and confusing. My friend, Emily, and I are very close. Always have been. She's one of my best friend's ex girlfriend. They broke up in the summer and she took awhile getting over him.
I was taking this trip but was afraid of crashing since i do have low points and figured it'd be better to have someone else with me. Well she volunteered right away. I even brought up the fact that we'd have to share a bed for the days we're there. She said that it wouldn't be a problem at all and had a sly grin. I pushed that aside. Later on last night I was talking about how it wouldn't be so bad if I was at least having sex with someone else and again with the same grin she said "too bad I'm celibate...but that could change". That was harder to dismiss.
This morning I was joking around with her because I'm starting to feel like the old confident me again and I'm getting happier with less sad moments. She said she likes the happier version of me. I told her I like when she's happier and haven't seen her smile this much in along time. She brought up the trip and said "I sure hope a vacation with a sweet guy will change that".
My confusion is that I'm starting to think she may be putting out signals of having feelings for me, but I'm still recovering and don't really need a rebound. A big part of me does want to pursue it, but I'm kind of out of practice with this. Don't know what to do at all, if I make a move, if I don't...what move to make, what moves not to make. I don't think I'd be able to turn it away if the oppurtunity arose.
Please help
Rebounds are SUPER dangerous for both parties involved; and the 'cherry on top' is when one person is still in deep recovery from a break up.
Many times a broken heart can't even tell that it's in a rebound relationship, because it's a very confusing time. I can tell you from experience, the results of these connections are normally not very pretty.
But through experience I also know that you will need inner-strength and self respect for both yourself and your old friend, to to do the RIGHT thing.
It would be very selfish and thoughtless of you.... to risk breaking the foundation of what you both have now by becoming physically or emotionally involved before you are totally and completely READY.
Please don't do this to her..or yourself. Show her your character and how much you really care for her by doing the hardest thing of all...maintain control, keep her at arms length by just being her friend and get yourself together first. Do what's RIGHT.
I do appreciate the advice, but I feel moved on. I'm at a place again where I'm very confident and feel like myself again. I don't feel any sadness.
As for those of you stating to not do anything physical, when I wrote this I knew I'd never turn away from it. I'm a sexual person and that's the way I'll always be. I believe is someone makes a move and it's responded, then there's an agreement that both parties know what the risks are.
As for the sleeping bag, it's an excellent idea, but I'm not going to be doing that. My plan continues that I'm sharing a bed with her.
Not trying to sound like a jerk, but my way of thinking has returned to normal. I myself will not be making any attempts at her this weekend. If the interest comes from her, then I may act on it, but I'm honestly not expecting anything.
AS a small update to the situation with her. I went to her house today to speak with her dad about her coming with me. She still lives with her dad until she finishes school. He's protective but not overly. I had a nice long chat with him and he took a shine to me and told me so. I spent the rest of the night just chatting with her about everything from the trip to just life. I believe even if this weekend turns out to have nothing, I'll be considering her as a possibility for the future. In a few ways i do agree that I should see how strong this friendship truly is before I jump into anything. But sometimes you have to run before you can walk.
Thanks again, and I really did not mean to be rude.