This isnt silly at all.
If I came home and my car had been sold out from under me, I'd have to seriously wonder about the sheer selfishness and lack of consideration on my "partner's" side.
This person is not behaving in your best interests.
They are not thinking of you in terms of equality at all.

If you intend on remaining with this person, you either need to lay down and let him stomp all over you, or stand up for yourself - SPEAK UP and put your foot down. Get tough with him because he obviously has ZERO respect for any idea of partnership.

I'm speechless too. Sheesh.

He does know that if he doesn't shove the whole thing in his mouth he won't get fat, right? What a boneheaded move. Some people get it, some don't and some never will.

He sold you car???!! Okay that is the part I am speechless about.

I couldn't be with someone like that, no thanks.

How did I miss the car part?? He sold YOUR car???

Wow. What would happen if you up and made a major decision or move like that without his input? What would he do? GAH! This guy wouldn't last 2 minutes with me!!!

we were already married - just.

he said we would look at getting me something nicerthat was about a year or so ago. Im secretly saving!!!

He is also the guy who has a family group photo and didn't think to find me so I could be in it - it was our wedding day!!!

Its just the daily little things which also add up to me having shite self esteem, feeling powerless and trapped - now I have no car!!!
we do have a car but I have to ask to 'borrow' it!!!
I have no idea of our finances, I'm not included in the finances, I have my allowance and I have no idea if we can afford a car or not. If I kick off and make a fuss he comes up with a hand written list of income and outgoingnone of which I know are true.

I messed up with this choice and Im stuck.made my bed blah blah

I guess I thought I could get through to him that these things are not acceptablebut its not working - CLEARLY!!!
]PS - I am his 4th wife!!!
hmmm

This guy is a total control freak!!
No wonder he has had 3 wives before you....pity you didn't check with any of them beforehand to find out why they left him.........or wonder that yourself.

I am so sorry you are finding yourself trapped by this, and his total lack of consideration towards you. Somehow you are going to have to stand your own ground on things. By the way have you ever seen the old movie Shirley Valentine? It may give you an idea or two. :-)

Some one who SERIOUSLY undermines you ........... :(

you said "silly but" that makes me thing you have low self esteem ....

that you dont feel ok to value you and your feeligns just in case you might offend ..... Co depentant behaviour maybe - there is a group here for that.... Hope you get the support you need ! Dont wanna slag off your man but WTF dude!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good luck x

I really, REALLY, REALLLLLLY hope he is amazing and outstanding and magical in bed to balance out some of that bullshit until you can figure this all out. He appears to be someone who is just clueless form the get-go or who just doesn't give 2 cents about your emotional well-being and that's that.

But maybe considering you are his 4th wife that should have been a red flag.

You are only as stuck as you make yourself out to be. Don't be weak and meek and roll over. That's why we have divorce attorney's so they can go after what you deserve and fight your battle if you really want to get out. Your hubby sounds like its his world and you're just there as a piece of furniture in it b/c that's about all of the thought and consideration he seems to be giving you and that really sucks and I'm sorry and I hope you find a way out of that relationship sooner than later.

Lmao - that was my thought too Man This dude better be amazing in the sack

He does these things to control you.
Sells your car so you cant leave.
Keeps you out of the bank accounts so you cant get money to leave.
He has taken away more freedom than anyone should find acceptable.

Why do you give him all this power over you?
Take it back.

Ummm....he sold your car???

That seems leaps and bounds beyond a fruitcake.

W....T...F.

LOL @ SBJ. I don't know, even if he's hung like a donkey, I would be so pissed he sold my car one day, I wouldn't be baking fruitcake, and I sure wouldn't be enjoying sack time.

amazing in the sack?!!hmmm well not without Viagra he isn't and then hmmm well Im ten years younger.so I do most of the work!?

and yes I am on the Co-D board too. I know I have self-esteem issues - I thick he must have spotted that too!

He left all his wives, for the next one! and because they wouldn't have sex with him!!!
I didn't know this until I had moved in with him!!!

Not sure where to start with the thoughtless actions of his.

and SHINE.you are spot on.
I know I have my issues, being afraid of confrontation being one, but I never expected to be actually stomped on and mud wiped in my face!!!

how do I correct what I have let happen?!

Loose the looser. Was that a bit brash?..... sorry, but this one is easy. Find your feet, set your self up with a new car, and get away from him. Allowance? In the dark on the finances..... Sold your car so you would be dependent on him. I don't think fruit cake is the problem. RUN!!!