Healthy Relationships Support Group
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My fiancee and I have been together for about 4 years now. We have had trouble in the past with him and his drug use, but he has gotten off the Oxys and is off the methadone now. Its been about 4 months!
Lately he seems really distant. He works from 7pm to 7am, I work a regular 9-5 in another town. We get to see each other for maybe 15 minutes a week, and I only get Sundays off with him. Mind you he sleeps most of the day because of his shift. Its been hard, but he really likes his job and his co workers. He just seems to always be short with me and I don't know why. I'd ask him if hes ok and he gets mad. He used to tell me he loves me all the time, but now it seems he only says it if I say it first. He used to bring me flowers and get me cards and now I rarely even get a hug. He used to text me and say how much he loves me and I rarely even get a reply to my texts. Needless to say, I am sad.
This of course weighs on me and then I get short with him. I have been trying so hard to keep upbeat, but I am wondering if he even wants to be with me anymore. I know if I ask, hes going to get mad.
He took the weekend off and we are going camping (even though it is raining like a mo fo) so I am hoping some time together, doing something we both enjoy will re ignite our feelings for each other. I can't imagine life without him. I moved to a new town with him, I have no one here I can fall back on, and I cant move back to my hometown easily.
I feel so horrible and don't know what to do to make things better. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to find our old relationship again?
Thanks for listening.
Lately he seems really distant. He works from 7pm to 7am, I work a regular 9-5 in another town. We get to see each other for maybe 15 minutes a week, and I only get Sundays off with him. Mind you he sleeps most of the day because of his shift. Its been hard, but he really likes his job and his co workers. He just seems to always be short with me and I don't know why. I'd ask him if hes ok and he gets mad. He used to tell me he loves me all the time, but now it seems he only says it if I say it first. He used to bring me flowers and get me cards and now I rarely even get a hug. He used to text me and say how much he loves me and I rarely even get a reply to my texts. Needless to say, I am sad.
This of course weighs on me and then I get short with him. I have been trying so hard to keep upbeat, but I am wondering if he even wants to be with me anymore. I know if I ask, hes going to get mad.
He took the weekend off and we are going camping (even though it is raining like a mo fo) so I am hoping some time together, doing something we both enjoy will re ignite our feelings for each other. I can't imagine life without him. I moved to a new town with him, I have no one here I can fall back on, and I cant move back to my hometown easily.
I feel so horrible and don't know what to do to make things better. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to find our old relationship again?
Thanks for listening.
my guess is that just being a friend and ready to listen whenever he wants to open up and share would be your best bet.
i think that your relationship could go either way at this point. you are only just now getting to know the real him. the guy on drugs who was affectionate with you is gone forever (hopefully).
you might want to spend time with your family and a close friend to discuss your feelings through all of this. it has to be hard for you. i'm sorry.
My advice...fighting or being short will only add fuel to the fire. If he is short just try to listen, try to talk about neutral topics. If he was on the pills for a long time it's gonna take a while for him to get clarity. If he would seek counseling I would help him find some.