Caught on the date and now the story is "I don't remember". I cannot help but think of the song "It wasn't me" by Shaggy. If you have not heard it search for it....might make you laugh. I am sorry to hear there may be some brain issues involved. This makes it tough and I think this should be ruled in or out early to figure out how to deal with it any further.

The fact that you're talking about chance #2, and it sounds like you made big changes during chance #1, I think the problems are deeper than just "lonely". It may be worth going to counseling to at least learn what the issue on the table is now. Consider that you have made changes and sacrifices for him under the premise that it would address the infidelity. It sounds like you took on some blame for his affair...maybe justified and maybe not. I would encourage you to know how much more you are willing to do before getting into counseling and taking on more blame. It is easy to just keep bending for someone to then find out years later you had no real control over their actions.

Good Luck!!

You are on the money. He blamed me the first time so I blamed me (even the counselor said it was on me (WTF, I never cheated when he worked long hours) he tried blaming me this other time...actually said "you never thank me for the mowing the lawn. I think you might hate men"
That was weird
But then he took the blame and SWEARS he wants help....he wants to see his neurologist again. I am willing to forgive again but I hate myself for it.

This guy is a master manipulator. Not only did he blame you for his first affair but managed to get the counselor to blame you as well!!?? Big red flag right there. Now he claims amnesia!? Give me a break!! Nothing can ever be fixed if the person who screws up can't even take responsibility for what they've done. How can he fix his own behavior if it's never even his fault?

Did his memory issue include forgetting he was married?

If he has a brain issue, that can be responsible for memory, behavior, depression,etc. But my feeling is that while it can explain behavior it also doesn't mean he gets a pass. I mean, he has kids and wife. Get your shit together dude.

I think whether people stay or leave cheaters is a completely personal decision, one based on very personal circumstances. But the old adage is true... fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice shame on me. For me, the cheating is hurtful enough, but what would really bug me most in this situation is the insult to my intelligence.

Yes, the fool me once saying definitely applies here. I just don't know what to do....leaving him is going to be so difficult financially. I am scared.

I'd be scared too so I get that. Do you think you want to leave right now, if money wasn't a concern? I guess that's where I'd start, just doing some soul searching. Don't worry about what he wants right now, wanting help, wanting to try to fix it. He can do that while you still try to figure this out for yourself. He should be going for help regardless of whether you stay or leave, so he can be a better man, with or without you. I would try to just really get your head around if you're willing to leave or stay, and whatever you decide, what that looks like for you. You have to be able to live with yourself, whatever choice you make. Maybe individual counseling would help you, to just get clarity on your own thoughts.

I feel for you. I really do. It's easy for a bunch of strangers to say leave him. I mean, I'm sure that's what you'd tell your best friend if she were in your shoes, right? We all say LEAVE because we have no real skin in the game. On our bravest, most objective day, that's what we'd all do. But in the end, it's rarely so black and white when it's happening to you, when you're in the thick of it. I think most people have to arrive at their decision on their own, in their own way.

so he blamed you and you made huge changes, then he's caught again and his only excuse is....I don't remember. I would call up that counselor who took his side and ask now what? Really? It's obvious the counselor missed the mark. There is something deeper going on here and I doubt it's because of you. Sure everyone can improve in ways to help a spouse feel validated, but his way of dealing with whatever his feelings are, is unhealthy and not your fault.

Only you can decide what to do from here. All I can tell you is what I did. I drew a boundary. I stating in marriage counseling that I was willing to work on the marriage provided he dumped all his "lady friends." <---that's what he called them. Anyway, he agreed and when I caught him red handed, all he could do was blame me for looking through his stuff. Yeah...blame the victim, blah blah blah. I told him to leave and began the process, never looked back. It was the best choice. Was it easy...no, but I no longer have to put up with his lying cheating a@@ and there is peace that comes with that.

I was in a similar situation with one child and yes it was hard but it's also very doable! I know there's still a stigma somewhat in reaching out for public assistance, however it's not a permanent thing, just a stepping stone to get you to where you need to be! Do you really want to keep putting yourself through all this emotional pain and god forbid to say he bring home an STD that you get! After that happened to me I kicked his a$$ out my house and never looked back! If he genuinely loves you you should be enough for him to not be dipping his spoon into somebody else's pudding and then like I said the possibility of bringing the spoon back dirty. Sorry but him playing the hypertension card is bulls**t, IMO. The main symptoms of headaches, nausea, and vomiting has nothing to do with where he puts his penis, ijs. Good luck to you!

No, no more chances. Get a job and get moving. It is scary, but trust me - you will make it. Between him paying you alimony and you working, you will be fine.
He has a personality of a liar. He manipulated you in being compassionate to his shitty behavior and excuses.
I went back with a man who had an affair. He broke every boundary I had and convinced me that I was the crazy one , the jealous one.
Don't let this happen to you.
You gave him a chance and he is out with another woman again... He will keep doing this.
I am so sorry but you are in love with a compulsive liar and a cheater. It hurts so much... Especially having 4 children with this man.
I wish you all the best... Hugs

It is definitely hard to take on outside views. But I agree with every one here. To add on to other comments... I really don't think giving him another chance is worth the PTSD. Giving him another chance will tell his subconscious (or even his conscious mind) that he will be able to get away with it again. Either he will be able to get away with it again because he is learning how to keep it from you better each time. Or he will get away with it again because he has decided you will keep giving him chances for the sake of your kids and for the sake of the financial situation. Either way, you are not his top priority at this point. As much as it hurts to hear that, you need to remember you are worth so much more.

The good memories you have of him are going to nag at you and tell you to give him another chance. Hold on to those memories as exactly that, just memories. If you end things now and maturely, you may be able to salvage the base of your friendship. In the midst of possibly having to split the kids up, it is important to make sure you still have the best relationship possible with their father. That being said, it's best that you end things as soon as possible before the fire and fed with truck loads of hay.

I'm sorry to hear of your situation. Are you able to get that job back by any chance? If they loved you and they had an opening, and you told them a bit about your situation, I'm sure they'd consider taking you back. If not, with your experience there, can you get a similar job elsewhere? I think if you were able to start working, even in a part-time capacity, your mind would be able to think more clearly and make a better decision. It would also alleviate some of the financial worry, and open corridors for an exit, in case you need to leave him.

If he said he doesn't remember making the date, check that up; ask the doctor if this could be a symptom. If you saw this woman or know how to contact her, do so, and ask what happened, how long she's known him, and tell her about his brain condition. Check his computer, etc. and see what you can find to back up his lack of story. If you can know for sure, if this was amnesia or just a whopping lie, you'll be in a better place to make a decision.

Impulsiveness is a symptom. I did contact both women. ..their stories match what I can prove via computer (it was only once for coffee. There was no sex. They met on tinder...one convo went on for 6 week, one for one day. No money was spent except for coffee (no atm eithdrawals, no hotel or meal purchases, no secret payments to another card)

Just so u know, increased intercrainial hypertension does not cause memory loss, especially 2 that extent. I call bull shit! I have iih, it does a lot of things, but mostly cognative issues like not being able 2 say what you are thinking, and dyslexia.

Oh, and impulsivness... maybe, but i still have wonderful control over things, & my pressure in my head is pretty high sometimes. He is still making a choice. He has 2 own that.

Jennifer I was looking this up and it can cause both memory loss as well as behaviour changes... I would make an appt with his doctor and ask for a psychiatric consult before you make any other decisions
I'm so sorry that you're going through this.... I don't agree of course with cheating however there could be a reason for this that your husband may need medical help for.... Big hug....xo

This article mentions these symptoms

http://www.nytimes.com/health/guides/disease/increased-intracranial-pressure/overview.html