Healthy Relationships Support Group
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Hi, I am in my early 60's very healthy, and just want through a very tough divorce after being married 34 years. My wife left me. She cheated, decieved, and spent money, but I loved her. I wasn't perfect but love her, and never did any of those things. During the divorce period I dated a bit and then found this one girl I really like. She is in her late 50's, and was married 3 times, but seems very honest and caring, and has been working on her issues, and going to counseling etc. We all have some issues. Anyway, she is very affectionate and loving, but has her moments. We been dating over a year and we see each other a real lot. My divorce was final last month.
Anyway, the subject of a commitment ring came up a few months ago by her, so I brought it up myself last night. We currently don't live together, but I spent the weekends at her house constantlyand see each other 5 times a week. . I was looking at these rings that cost around $300 to $600. I didn't mention price to her, but said a commitment ring, and she turned to me and said sweetheart, I want something with little more than that, and actual diamond ring that I can show people that we truly care about each other etc.
I was a little stun by that, since I am the kind of person that doesn't put a lot of value in that kind of thing but i do realize there is a certain amount of emotional value that a girl feels, about her guy and the ring and his love or commitment to her. So I am a bit confused, and I am thinking but not sure, she may have a price range of $1,500 to $2,500.
We will not get married because it not financial advantageous to her, but she always tells me, she wants me for her partner in life, and will love me forever. We have talked about moving in but I still have to sell my house. Having a bit of trust issues from my marriage hasn't help my thinking. Any thoughts, would be appreciated.
Anyway, the subject of a commitment ring came up a few months ago by her, so I brought it up myself last night. We currently don't live together, but I spent the weekends at her house constantlyand see each other 5 times a week. . I was looking at these rings that cost around $300 to $600. I didn't mention price to her, but said a commitment ring, and she turned to me and said sweetheart, I want something with little more than that, and actual diamond ring that I can show people that we truly care about each other etc.
I was a little stun by that, since I am the kind of person that doesn't put a lot of value in that kind of thing but i do realize there is a certain amount of emotional value that a girl feels, about her guy and the ring and his love or commitment to her. So I am a bit confused, and I am thinking but not sure, she may have a price range of $1,500 to $2,500.
We will not get married because it not financial advantageous to her, but she always tells me, she wants me for her partner in life, and will love me forever. We have talked about moving in but I still have to sell my house. Having a bit of trust issues from my marriage hasn't help my thinking. Any thoughts, would be appreciated.
Have you guys ever REALLY talked about this? Does she know that you are still in love with your wife ?
If she doesn't know this, she is probably feeling it and maybe these are her reasons for the ring.. Something to prove to her you are not going anywhere and the more expensive it is ,the more meaning it has to her in terms of " if he invests money in me, then he is truly into this relationship "
Idk, I could be wrong, but regardless of reasons why it just seems kind of dysfunctional.
Maybe you guys should sit down and talk. Let her know that pressure can make you feel uncomfortable ..
Ask her what kind of actions from a man make her feel like he is committed and why? Tell her how you see your POV. Maybe you can both heal together through these conversations.
Dating after divorce is really difficult.. I had a lot of problems, but I think it can all be overcome if you talk to each other.
think about it, she has been married THREE TIMES!
you have been with her a year and we all know she is thinking MARRIAGE NUMBER FOUR
Caution.
if she thinks a ring will "show people we truley care" then get her something suited for the occasion.
i was with my now husband for about two years and we had already had a baby girl before he ever purchased a ring for me.
a "diamond ring" meant very little compared to the love he and i had, NO RING COULD DEFINE OUR LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER
now, over six years later (daughter is 5yrs now) i finally got the wedding set i wanted. a solitare and chanel set diamond band. much cheaper than the first set he bought and exactally what i wanted.
good luck to you.
Went there for a promise ring, nice one spent about $60.00. Two weeks later he went back for an engagement ring, spent about $1500.00 then we started to plan the wedding. Fast forward about three months she ran off with a truck driver who was 20 years older...
Thank God!!!!!
I think she was using him.
Fast forward three years and engaged to a girl who was older than him but wanted and engagement ring that was nice but not pricey Spent about $100.00, Now they got married last Nov.
Happy in love. By the way spent about that one the wedding bands.
Take your time with her, time will tell all.
ttfn AnnieEm