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Hi, I am in my early 60's very healthy, and just want through a very tough divorce after being married 34 years. My wife left me. She cheated, decieved, and spent money, but I loved her. I wasn't perfect but love her, and never did any of those things. During the divorce period I dated a bit and then found this one girl I really like. She is in her late 50's, and was married 3 times, but seems very honest and caring, and has been working on her issues, and going to counseling etc. We all have some issues. Anyway, she is very affectionate and loving, but has her moments. We been dating over a year and we see each other a real lot. My divorce was final last month.
Anyway, the subject of a commitment ring came up a few months ago by her, so I brought it up myself last night. We currently don't live together, but I spent the weekends at her house constantlyand see each other 5 times a week. . I was looking at these rings that cost around $300 to $600. I didn't mention price to her, but said a commitment ring, and she turned to me and said sweetheart, I want something with little more than that, and actual diamond ring that I can show people that we truly care about each other etc.
I was a little stun by that, since I am the kind of person that doesn't put a lot of value in that kind of thing but i do realize there is a certain amount of emotional value that a girl feels, about her guy and the ring and his love or commitment to her. So I am a bit confused, and I am thinking but not sure, she may have a price range of $1,500 to $2,500.
We will not get married because it not financial advantageous to her, but she always tells me, she wants me for her partner in life, and will love me forever. We have talked about moving in but I still have to sell my house. Having a bit of trust issues from my marriage hasn't help my thinking. Any thoughts, would be appreciated.
Anyway, the subject of a commitment ring came up a few months ago by her, so I brought it up myself last night. We currently don't live together, but I spent the weekends at her house constantlyand see each other 5 times a week. . I was looking at these rings that cost around $300 to $600. I didn't mention price to her, but said a commitment ring, and she turned to me and said sweetheart, I want something with little more than that, and actual diamond ring that I can show people that we truly care about each other etc.
I was a little stun by that, since I am the kind of person that doesn't put a lot of value in that kind of thing but i do realize there is a certain amount of emotional value that a girl feels, about her guy and the ring and his love or commitment to her. So I am a bit confused, and I am thinking but not sure, she may have a price range of $1,500 to $2,500.
We will not get married because it not financial advantageous to her, but she always tells me, she wants me for her partner in life, and will love me forever. We have talked about moving in but I still have to sell my house. Having a bit of trust issues from my marriage hasn't help my thinking. Any thoughts, would be appreciated.
Maybe someone else might have another opinion. I hate to end this, because I think she might be resolute on this.
I don't know if I should bring it up or let it drop for now.
I think your most telling statement is that you don't equate $$ with love, and apparently she does. If that is the way you have to prove how much you love her, with pretty, pricey baubles, you have a long (and probably tiresome) relationship ahead of you. I don't suppose she is showering you with tokens of her affection and commitment on you, now is she?
You've just come out of a lengthy marriage and, IMO, one month after a divorce being finalised is too early to be making any commitment to another partner.
As for the ring, why is an expensive ring necessary, at this stage of life (or for that matter, any stage of life), to show your mutual commitment? I'm in your age bracket, in a committed 2 year relationship, and certainly wouldn't expect (or accept) an expensive engagement ring from my partner.
All I can say, is tread carefully.
I'm afraid you've got a high-maintenance woman there. If you wanted to shell out that kind of money on a symbol, you could surely find a much younger woman!
Who is this lady trying to impress, her catty socialite friends?
How do women get guys who will do that stuff. I wouldn't even have the nerve to ask.
All this talk of money shows me where her head is. If she wants to end the relationship because you wont shell out a lot of money then it's no great loss IMHO
@Koolman- what difference does her age make?
If the two of you are truly meant to be together then things will work out just fine and there will be no pressure or doubts from either side. I just strongly recommend that you do not make any decisions out of haste or fear as I feel those types of actions will not make a relationship last. Anyway it will have to be up to you but I would hold off on buying any type of ring for awhile and just see how things go. Wishing you the very best and hoping that things will work out.
I've never put much stock into material possessions or wealth and don't require guys to spend oodles of money on me to show that they care. What I require is time...
Maybe it's a difference in the way that the two of you feel love? She may require physical things or gifts to feel love whereas you do not... Isn't there a book on this? Lol, I think my friend let me borrow it, but I'm in the middle of a move and don't have access to it.
On top of it, it can't be a $500 ring...it has to cost thousands of dollars and be big and flashy...so she can show off to her friends. Once again, I hear that as, "I care more about showing off than about the actual relationship we have," and it sounds trashy and desperate.