Koolman,

Then please distance yourself from this relationship. There are plenty of single compatible women out there for you. Perhaps culturally she is better off with someone from her own culture. Move on and find someone you can be happy with.

Good luck to you!

Thanks, guys. I do love a lot of things about this woman but I guess not enough to sacrifice my own needs or health. Call it selfish; I call it self-preservation. She will eat me alive. It's looking like a break-up.

Let me put this another way, lala, so I can restore your faith in my attitude toward women and don't come off like a completely selfish pig:

I love her but I don't love what she's doing to herself. She's working herself to death.

And she does complain about her health, so I feel compelled to give advice...another job with not so many hours, more sleep, more exercise. She listens but doesn't change a thing.

I just read the rest of your thread and I understand. The story is over for you 2...maybe you can do a friendship...but i would guess not because it sounds like you have some anger attached to this. It is hard talking to someone who doesn't respond either.
You are the kind of guy who thinks stuff through, and i admire that and i know you will work it out...Good luck...L

Thanks, L.

Yeah, I do have a little anger. And I don't mind anger in response in a relationship (thanks) LOL. I'd prefer it to apathy, which is what she has. We'll see...

Thats not nice. Love is unconditional.

Tell that to my GF, xine.

I think I created a monster by doling out lavish money and gifts on her when we first met, to "buy" her affections. Now it's expected.

You're of Asian descent. Can you please explain to me the obsession with money above everything else? Maybe this woman got a taste of American avarice compared to dirt-poor Saigon and now is obsessed with the almighty $. I like money too, but it's not the only thing I love.

xine777,

I depends on what type of love you are talking about. Love is not always unconditional. A mother's love for her children is unconditional but in a relationship when one person is destructive or abusive I don't see any reason to respond with unconditional love.

I wanted to throw out there I know a handful of Asian people and they all have different personality traits and priorities in life -- just like the rest of us! lol.

I agree love can be unconditional but relationships never are. People need different things from interpersonal relationships at different times in our lives. There's nothing wrong with that.

Son you are whiped and not even getting any. Every women loves money. If you have it when you get together and for awhile after that. Than later you dont they will divorce your butt.

Hey guys,

Are we down on women this week?

Whatever happened to "for richer or for poorer"?

There's nothing wrong with chasing money, but #1) you don't use a person for their money, and #2) but money in and of itself is an empty, meaningless pursuit.

I think the reason a lot of women are in love with money first is because money they can trust, when men have let them down. Agree, ladies?

It seems to love a woman who loves money first, I too must love money first. It's a black hole of loneliness.

The reality, folks, is I think this girl and I have just drifted apart. I've become more physical, she's become more aesthetic and sedentary, and neither one of us is willing or able to change. I don't know why she called me out of the blue after 3 years; we didn't entirely match up 3 years ago either...but we have SOMEWHAT of a hold on each other in the affection department...

Move on ,my friend.I normally would not give such specific advice,but from what you have shared,it sounds like this relationship is not for you.Are you afraid to be alone to the point you will accept less than you need from a relationship just to satisfy a need to have someone with you? Follow your heart.That,I believe,is the best advice to give.

Koolman,

The same thing can be said for men. There are men out there who are looking for a sugar mama. There is a saying from some women my age. In my age group and older men are looking for "a nurse or a purse."

People are different and it sounds like your friend has suffered a great deal of hardship in her life. She's probably experienced hunger and other things we can't even imagine, so perhaps money for her represents safety. She is a product of her life experiences.

Find a woman with a similar background as yours. You'll be much happier.