Is this the first time he did this?

@aronia no. before when he worked and got up really early he did this maybe once or twice

If you keep talking about this over and over and he doesn't respect you enough not to continue to do this, than I'd be like umm if you continue to do so you can find someone else who'll enjoy this. If he was that horny he should've grabbed the lube and pleasured himself, IMHO.

There is no way around this and you have to say it clearly and make sure he gets the message :
" you are not allowed to have sex with me while when I am unable to consent. It is a violation of my body and is just a smidge below rape"
I know you are afraid offend him, but something is very wrong here . If you feel violated, then you ARE. If this issue can't be dealt with before marriage, it is only going to escalate after you are married.
If he can't handle this and has an unfavorable response - do NOT marry this guy.

Sex without consent is never ok. His explanation diminishes your feelings. He's completely disrespecting you. Get effing mad.

Yea I agree with what others have written especially when you've said no.... It's a bit creepy IMHO...... Big hug.....xo

I could probably drop an anvil on my husband while he sleeps and he'd sleep right through it.

Sex isn't just penetration.

Why didn't he wake you up and ask for it if he was so horny? He must like the idea of molesting you and taking you without your consent. That is disturbing. If you had given him your permission to do this, that's one thing but he's doing this even after you told him to stop. That causes alarm bells to sound in my head. I hope you don't marry him without getting this settled. I couldn't trust someone who did something like that.

I'm really glad I came across this post because I'm going through the same thing. Difference is I will snap on him since I told him nicely before. It's like no matter what I say or how I say it...if he's horny then it's go time. I'm not going to put up with it any longer. The more you stick around and let the situation slide then that's when they take advantage bc they know you aren't going anywhere. Put your foot down love and it's only for your good.

TS, I'm sorry you've experienced that. It's a violation.
I knew someone who did that to his partner. He was unable to stop. It destroyed the trust in his relationship and they split up.

Question: how does it make you feel when your partner continues to ignore a legitimate request?

Personally, basic respect is needed for any relationship. If someone knows I have a problem with something important and continues to do it, I may need to reconsider the relationship.

Hope you'll listen to your own intuition. Relationships need both people to have agreements that make the relationship better.

What inside allows you to keep putting up with something that violates trust?

P.S. Most people - particularly men - respect actions more than talk. If you say you don't want him to do it, but you stick around - your actions speak louder than your words ....