Healthy Relationships Support Group
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Has anyone wrote a letter to themselves to forgive themselves? I have never tried.
I ended a hard time in life back 16 years ago. I lost everything. Job, money, bankruptcy, apt eviction, my self pride, my esteem, my worth. My ex at that time rejected and abandoned me through infedility. So he has come back in my life due to regrets, and such and apologizing. I have loads of flashbacks. I have written him 100s of letters and burned them for his selfishness during that time, but this letter writing thing and burning never really made me feel better.
I also thought about sending him a letter for closure to him, so he can never contact me again as he disregarded that boundary long time ago when I said don't ever contact me again. Like, don't contact me and tell me I'm the one ex you can't get over and just hide behind everything, because texting with me makes you feel good while he continues to remain a coward.
I have rebuilt my life, and doing very well. I protect it and control due to the fear of loss many years ago, plus I'm a single mom. My ex, he's still stagnant. He's lonely, we'll so am I. Since I still hold anger to him and say many nasty things to him. I'd like to try forgiving myself, not him. Because I have also realized where I still suffer in some low self worth. And even for all his horrible things he's done, it's not worth of me to say nasty things to him.
Does this letter help? I thought what if I did this and added over time for something i did, so I am always reminded that I did rise above and forgive me for the decisions I made back then. Maybe it will help me release anger to him, and remind how far I have become. Especially on low self worth days.
Let me know your thoughts if this helps?
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
letter writing has been tremendously helpful in my own therapy of dysfunctional relationships, but self-forgiveness is far too complex for letters. i can forgive an ex for being an a-hole far more easily than i can forgive myself for being an a-hole. just admitting my a-hole moments is a hard step. forgiving myself is a different and harder step. most of my self-forgiveness writings have been in my therapy journal. it is an on-going process. i sure wish i could dump my a-hole self as easily as i can dump an unfaithful chump.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbX7NlsXB2g
Peace and Healing To You, Those Who You Love and To The World At Large <3
I hope you have a Blessed Easter <3
Live your blessings!
I'm sorry that you were so badly hurt and betrayed
It does suck for sure
Be proud of the person that you've become
We all go through some dark times and hopefully we grow from them
It sounds like you have
Ibwould just block his number
Find a way to forgive him
Not for his sake but for yours
He's not worth the space he's taking up in your head
Once he's forgiven he's just history
It's over and you can move on to positive
things in your life
It sounds like you've done awesome
Be kind to you
You deserve it...xo
I like the idea of positive affirmations. I have a few I practice (been doing so for years) when I feel unsure about myself or anxious or troubled. You could also try letter writing, journaling, etc. There’s not just one way, and not all ways work for everyone.
With that said, if you have set boundaries, enforce them or reinforce them. You don’t have to indulge him at all. I mean he can’t really come back into your life unless you keep the path open for him to do so.
I’m in agreement on forgiving others, to free ourselves. It doesn’t mean you are condoning bad behavior but it’s removing the power another person’s behavior or actions has. It’s much easier to let go of anger and resentment when you can forgive the person whose behavior was hurtful and ugly. Forgiveness of him is for your own peace, not his. It’s up to him to figure out how to be at peace and live going forward. That’s not really your business honestly. I know he makes it your business but this is where you may consider doing what’s best for you and let him figure out how to live with his regret nonsense. I mean sheesh haven’t most of us had relationships that were not the best but we really loved the person and we perhaps have some regrets years later? Sure but … oh well. Live, learn, move on. Rinse, repeat.
I’m not a very religious person but there is something really powerful about that, about being still, letting it be, letting go. Giving it to a higher power, whatever that me be. I really do believe that radical acceptance, the surrender, brings release.