Healthy Relationships Support Group
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I truly want any and all opinions about this. My husband and I have been married for almost 7 years. We have a special needs 5 year old girl and a healthy 2 year old (albeit ornery) boy. Hubby is a wonderful man whom I love very much. He is great with the kids and helps out when he's around (aka: not working 60-70 hours at the family business). My fear is his family. His father recently got into some legal trouble for putting hidden cameras up in the Women's restroom at work (he has now turned over the business to my husband and soon to be ex-wife). There are tons of boundary issues for example my husband's sisters who do not own or have anything to do with the business get company gas cards. They also get other things paid from time to time. They also have business debit cards for "emergencies". My mother-in-law is a great lady but gives her daughters everything at the expense of herself, my husband, and the business. Recently, due to medical problems with a grandson (one of my sister-in-laws children) my mother-in-law has stayed with the other children because my sister-in-law doesn't believe in daycare or anyone outside the family watching her kids (they've never had a babysitter except family members). This went on for well over two weeks. It left alot of strain on my husband and myself (I work part time in the business). Even though my husband is 50% responsible for all debt, he only owns about 18% of the business. My mother-in-law owns the rest. When she dies, the business will be split amongst all 4 children and my husband is the only one who works/owns it. The plan is to eventually allow her to retire and my husband take over the business. I am scared to death. The way money is spent is very secretive in the business and even my own husband doesn't have a clue where it's going. All we know is the business has "cash flow problems" and lots of bills are getting paid about 60 days out. The business bank is asking hubby what assets he has. They aren't asking for access just a list, but that frightens me. I don't want our modest emergency fund to be taken away. I want out of the business, but my husband is very committed and doesn't want to leave. It is to the point that I am thinking about filing for a legal separation. My husband knows this. If you were me, would you stay or would you leave? Thanks in advance.
Open up your own checking and savings accounts, as well as an IRA (read: INDIVIDUAL retirement account, only you). Then, your money is your money, can grow, completely independently of whatever he spends, and you won't be so reliant on half of his social security check when you both hit retirement age.
Don't divulge pin #s, and you should be just fine. You can then always give some money out of the goodness of your own heart, if he comes begging, broke and destitute, but the majority of the nut is yours.
If the latter, then, technically, even though you'll have funnelled some of this money into your own accounts, he can say it originated with him and could sue for it I guess. Perhaps a job, for you, is in order? That way, if worse comes to worse, the rubber meets the road, and he goes out of business, you can say your money was earned by you, and only give some out of the goodness of your own heart.