Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I feel I am a romantic. That being stated, I question the changes that have taken place, the evolution of relationships.
Granted, with the inception of the internet, there have been many relationships started, probably just as many ended with cyber help.
A person can gain interest, knowledge of, share pics, even sexual based interludes with another all over the world.
I think Match.com states 1 of 5 relationships start on line. 20%, and I might wager that number is escalating as I type.
From dating sites, chat rooms,texting, sexting, exclusive sites, meet up sites. The whole shebang is covered, now a perspective relationship is becoming as accessible as ordering pizza.
Good thing?, bad thing? We rush through life, are we now to be rushed into and through relationships.
I'm sure there are many instances when romance, followed by love has born from cyberworld. Is it as pure, or have we become totally based on instant success and gratification.
Are the days of courting/dating all gone?
not dealing with these changes, anyone else? or am I just living in the wrong time
Granted, with the inception of the internet, there have been many relationships started, probably just as many ended with cyber help.
A person can gain interest, knowledge of, share pics, even sexual based interludes with another all over the world.
I think Match.com states 1 of 5 relationships start on line. 20%, and I might wager that number is escalating as I type.
From dating sites, chat rooms,texting, sexting, exclusive sites, meet up sites. The whole shebang is covered, now a perspective relationship is becoming as accessible as ordering pizza.
Good thing?, bad thing? We rush through life, are we now to be rushed into and through relationships.
I'm sure there are many instances when romance, followed by love has born from cyberworld. Is it as pure, or have we become totally based on instant success and gratification.
Are the days of courting/dating all gone?
not dealing with these changes, anyone else? or am I just living in the wrong time
That said, yes, the cyber world is a bad thing, because it perpetuates the SPEED of the relationship cycle, which goes along with the SPEED of our ever-hyper consume/discard view of life. People can now browse, meet, gleam a few lines, and instantly make preconceived notions about whether a person is right for them, in 30 minutes or less, instead of investing some time meeting and hanging out with a person and really giving it a chance!
In short, people need to relax and chill out a bit.
Also, the quest for perfectionism (as if there were such a thing in a human being) is alarming. We need to cut each other some slack. Goes back to relaxing and chilling out.
I keep on meeting guys who aren't big phone users....They'll text me, but it doesn't go much further! I don't consider texting to be a higher form of communication...
One guy I initially met online, the second guy I went to high school with and we reconnected on FB.
So that's where I'm stuck right now. Talking to a guy who isn't big at using the phone...Sucks that he lives an hour away so we don't get to see each other much at all. Can you tell I'm about two seconds from throwing in the towel? LOL
I think technology can be a good thing in that it helps facilitate bringing people together, however, people depend TOO much on technology, as if its some sort of substitute for face time. Uhm, ATTENTION GUYS, NO ITS NOT!!! Speaking as a female, I want that conversation time, that face to face time, that one-on-one alone time.
I did reconnect with another friend of a friend yesterday....Its so attractive that he doesn't even have a FB account! LOL
That includes both ends of relationships.
I have had bad experiences with relationships I discovered via the internet, but then, I also have had bad experiences with relationships started via snail mail and face to face. I have also had decent and good relationships from each.
I am not looking for a forever partnership. I try to make that clear up front. Should I I find one, fine, but living happily ever after with one partner forever is not a realistic expectation for me.
I keep expectations low especially for long distance relationships. For the first time ever, I am actually going to spend some time face to face with someone who has been chatting with me just about every day for several months. I don't know where this relationship might end but at the moment it is going great .
I have a fairly extensive list of things I want in a relationship partner . Finding potential partners is deifficult, and finding women who meet my criteria and who are interested in a romantic physical relationship with me is more difficult. Women who meet my criteria are the most popular with every man, young old rich and poor. The internet however does give me an opportunity to at least make an initial contact and finding that 'right' woman is in part a numbers game. I fully expect a thousand 'no' responses before I get a 'maybe' or a 'yes'.
To me, the internet is far better than trying to find someone in a bar. It is not perfect, but works.
If there is to be a relationship, it must work for both individuals. That said, the how two people meet is probably less important than how the relationship is developed.
There are anti technology-ites, those completely consumed by technology, and those somewhere in between. I think your success will lie in finding the person who can accept and desires your romanticism and patience.
I personally have tried the technology route to a relationship and have come to despise it. Just as it is easier to cram in more as you described (not a good attribute), it is also easier to hide behind (a very bad attribute).
Too often I think we try to do things "the right way" whatever that is. Bottom line though, the right way for you can be completely different than the right way for someone else and both can be perfectly fulfilling. You don't have to buy into someone else's idea of what works - make your own rules and corner the market on good old fashion romanticism!
it's going to be awhile more until I dip my toes in those waters again
and it's what I'm looking forward to
((hugs))
anyone know of a Sadie Hawkins dance in the future?
facebook and other "social networks" really are not social at all.
People know deep within themselves that trust builds over time and both people should be ready
Even if the internet has questionnaires to help a person find a match, unfortunately that person could still lie to a computer
Because of these things, (also that I feel we are not at the peak of our evolution yet) ; I believe we are still in the dark ages of relationships.