Healthy Relationships Support Group
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Since it's important for both people in a relationship to mutually agree on money, what are your attitudes?
Gone are the days, for me, of free-spending idiocy, borrowing more than I will be able to pay back, the "build it and they will come" philosophy of using credit to run a business. Now there's a tight rein on finances, bitching every time I have to buy something, however small, to keep the business running, because that detracts money from the basic necessities, food and shelter.
I think we have to treat ourselves once in awhile, because life is short, but, overall, I think we should all be religiously saving, squirreling away every penny possible for the future, and start buying gold, which will soon be the only liquid currency worth any value, because, with the U.S. government's wreckless spending, sorry to say, unless we have Superpacs, we're all going to get poorer.
You?
Gone are the days, for me, of free-spending idiocy, borrowing more than I will be able to pay back, the "build it and they will come" philosophy of using credit to run a business. Now there's a tight rein on finances, bitching every time I have to buy something, however small, to keep the business running, because that detracts money from the basic necessities, food and shelter.
I think we have to treat ourselves once in awhile, because life is short, but, overall, I think we should all be religiously saving, squirreling away every penny possible for the future, and start buying gold, which will soon be the only liquid currency worth any value, because, with the U.S. government's wreckless spending, sorry to say, unless we have Superpacs, we're all going to get poorer.
You?
I have a budget, and do what I can to stick to it. There just isn't enough money to live right now, though.
My biggest issue is my house falling apart around me.
Last summer, new roof, this summer, major sewer repairs... next summer will be straightening the frame... put in some new windows... new drywall, new trim
etc...etc.... but I get what you are saying.
I'd be a basketcase if I had a ton of debt hanging over my head and stbxh would be the same way. He and I never used loan shark fee credit cards and we taught our sons stay the hell away from CC companies, we each have one CC for emergency purposes only or at times we had to use it to make hotel reseverations that type of thing (before there were debit cards) but we paid it right off and at times we had to use it for emergencies if it was a large sum, we made sure it was paid off within 6 months time at the most. Our sons are the same way, they each have a credit card but use it only for emergency or if they know they can pay it of within 6 montbs.
We are both savers but we are not Ebenezer Scrooges where we hoard money and never spend it, never do anything fun with it, never vaction. We did all those things but always kept within our budget, if we couldn't afford something we wanted then we waited until we could afford it, never just whipped out the good ole' plastic. We were both like this before we got married, stayed this way after we got married and it has paid off.
Partner and I are the same way, we don't go into unnecessary debt, we have nice things, we go out, we go on vacations but we live within our means.
MissPrizz: As long as you keep your finances/accounts separate, LEGALLY, no, I don't think you accrue each other's debt, but, just by close proximity, out of the goodness of each other's hearts, and a desire to comingle finances for the common good, that's kinda the way it works out.
Maybe others will have more info.
My biggest issue is my house falling apart around me."
I feel ya, Dave. My mother loaned me $5,000 to rennovate my condo, and, initially, I was begrudging to take it, because I knew, on top of other debt, there'd be no way I'd be able to repay it. But my little bathroom had developed a horrendous mold problem, due to the shower leaking into the surrounding walls, and it was getting difficult to breathe, the old carpet needed to be ripped up and replaced with tile, and the place needed to be repainted, so we embarked on this back-breaking project back in the fall of 2009.
I personally bashed out much of my old shower with a sledgehammer (with pleasure, was happy to do it), and we worked with the handyman at my parents' condo, who helped tear down and re-build the bathroom, install a new water heater, and who knew a tile guy who gave us a reduced rate over his normal fee (thanks!). Developed a nice relationship there. I still throw him paying work as needed. It's WHO you know!
I'm still in the same boat financially as I was 4 years ago (thanks, Obama), just barely making ends meet, despite the fact that I'm working 5-13 hours a day, 7 days a week sometimes. My main business, when times were good, was wedding photography and videography. Thanks to this lovely recession, took a second job, as a security officer, of all things, because it's a service that is needed, a recession-proof industry, but it's boring and low-paying, and I really want to get back into, more heavily involved, in film and television production, so I'm making more contacts. Necessity is the mother of invention. If not for this recession, I'd still just be doing weddings, which are OK, but I find them artistically limiting compared to movies and music videos, and weddings mostly take place on Saturdays, so there are a lot of days during the week I could be doing other shoots.
It's going slowly, but we just have to keep talking, throwing out positive vibes into the universe, as well as the people in our immediate vicinity, and maybe, eventually, someone will bite, with a much more satisfying and high-paying career.
I don't live on credit. Just cash. I have cable but use the local library for DVD's. Don't go out to dinner or the movies. My car is 10 years old and I haven't been on a vacation besides my backyard in 8 years BUT
my house is paid for and I have some money for retirement.
I agree money and how a partner handles money is one of the top 5 priorities in a relationship.
People I know who spend recklessly - are generally those with low self esteem. I used to be one too. The slow and steady builders - have higher self esteem. Money is a very powerful spiritual symbol.
I hear what you're saying re income - at the moment I have two full time jobs - and whilstever this climate continues - I'll keep them. I have no debt, only spend on food and fuel and some basic maintenance (hair and nails........I'm a girl afterall) - my home will be paid off in two years.......i have saved for a holiday by the ocean at Xmas - it's all paid for.
Other than that though - it's head down, arse up, keep working and saving......
Only by seeking strength and sustenance in a DEEPER source, on a DEEPER level, than this material world, can we stop reckless spending and put money in the bank, being a good steward of it, carefully monitor it, take pleasure in watching it grow.
Mold was really bad when I moved back in last year (I "won" the house in the divorce) so the first thing was to completely replace the roof, all 17 squares of it. But it didn't end with that, as I had to strip the old roof off... and replace about 1/2 of the decking.
I did ALL of this by myself.
Now the sewer has failed... and again I cannot afford a company to come out... so I am doing that myself also.
Sigh... I wish my problems were as simple as a bathroom.
although, the bathroom is on my list of stuff to fix, but not till all the big important stuff is done.