Healthy Relationships Support Group

No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

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Relationship is Over

naturelady08
naturelady08
Hello all. I am have posted on here a few times and it has always been helpful to me to read everyone's feedback. I have been in a relationship for 2 1/2 years. This past weekend it finally came to an end. Basically 2 of those years were on and off fighting. A lot of it stemmed from my insecurities. I have been beating myself up about this, saying it's all my fault....I caused all the fights.....I did everything wrong. But doesn't it take 2? Yes, my insecurities have c aused a lot of the arguments, but not all. Is it possible that he could just not be meeting my needs and I am not providing him with what he wants? That we simply are not compatible? This past weekend has been awful. I have stayed at a friends (we lived together) and basically cried all day and night, couldn't get off the couch and couldnt get out of my pajamas.. Today I took a ride to our house after not being there all weekend to get a few things. It was horrible, walkingin there, seeing OUR things, OUR pictures and knowing it was all over. It hurts even more because this was not my decision. I didn't want to end it. I miss him terribly but I can't force him to be with me. How and when does this feeling pass? I just want to be happy again, even though I know it can't be withhim......
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm Sry naturelady...I don't know enough of ur story or even have the right to say who was "wrong"...but yes it does take 2. Regardless who was at fault..it us okay to do some self reflecting and to learn from your mistakes. Remembet the good times, learn from the bad and start the healing process. In any break up its difficult...especially if u r the one that wanted to make it work, but like u said u have had 2 years of off and on fighting...that's no fun. I can't tell u when the pain will get easier...its different for everyone, but u will move on...u will love again. Once ur ready...use this time to work on u.

Feel better.
bluesky4
bluesky4
I am sorry to hear that you are having a rough time. Breaking up is never easy, & it is a grieving process. It will take time. *Hugs* Also, I don't know enough of your situation to say who was right or wrong. etc., but when a relationship breaks up...both people have some ownership in the break up. My question to you is, what are the insecurities that you are dealing with? If you don't want to share them here that is fine, but maybe at some point you may want to see a counselor about them. It would be very helpful, & when you are ready to move on and date again you do not want these same insecurities to be a problem in the next relationship. I would encourage you to share on this website, because therapy can be expensive, and honestly you may get some good insight by others on this website. And the fact that you can be anonymous is a big plus.
maebeth
maebeth
I'm sorry you're going through this. Chin up; you will survive and as time passes it will get easier.
koolman
koolman
Try to relax, find a sense of inner calm, and try not to pin your self-esteem on what somebody else thinks of you (!).
MuchLoveXOXO
MuchLoveXOXO
well, if you makes you feel better...
at least you can admit you "cant be with him"
i say that about my situation but would try again in a heart beat

he and i have love but hopes of a relationship are really gone
=(

moving on, so difficult

take care
deleted_user
deleted_user
breaking up with someone you still love regardless of the circumstances is a pain like no other. it's torture, quite simply. once you have a moment of peace something will come up to remind you of them, once again. it's the worst thing Ive ever gone through - I would rather have physical pain then heartache.

but I promise, it does slowly get better. weeks will turn into months and you will move on. you will get through it. im sure many will agree ... best of luck to you.