Healthy Relationships Support Group

No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

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helpmeplease29
helpmeplease29
We never tell each other I love you. We also tell our children that but never to each other. Maybe there was a couple times but pretty much that is it. I"m at a point that it hurts. We dont go out much anymore just usually stay home. He usually doesn't come over until like and by the time that he does its usually that we are just about asleep. What can I do??
deleted_user
deleted_user
Counseling
good luck
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am not sure what you both have discussed or if you both have sat down and expressed your feelings to each other but if not then that might be a good way to start. Perhaps by having some meaningful conversations and making some plans to do some things together it may rekindle some of that romance.

You both have to be willing to listen, compromise and make changes that you both can be comfortable with. Some couples can do that by just talking and making changes on their own and others will sometimes see a counselor for additional help. The only way to change the way things are now is to take some action and see how things go. Wishing you the very best:)
deleted_user
deleted_user
You could start by making a plan on how you want to approach this problem, you can try to do something nice for him to see how he reacts, but I think it would be best if you focus in your communication problem, because if you cant even say how you feel to your partner you have a communication issue.Sit down with him and tell him how you feel, what you fear, and see how he reacts. If he is wise he would see this approach like a opportunity to break the wall that you both have create. Wish you the very best...
debmitchell
debmitchell
When our partner doesn't make us feel special, the natural reaction is to close down and do less to show our own love. Then they close down... it's a vicious downward spiral, and it sounds like you're in one.

You need to turn the downward spiral into an upward spiral. If you tell him you love him, he'll be more likely to reciprocate. If you make him look forward to coming home, he'll be better about coming home. If you do things he enjoys, he'll be more open to doing things you enjoy.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Make the change yourself. If you feel the words, say them. If you're upset about the complacency, say so. Start telling him how you feel, what you'd like to see between you, and make an effort. Become active in your life, feelings and relationship. If he doesn't follow you, sit down and have an open chat and/or go to counselling.

Relationships take the action of two people, so do what 'you' can to make the change. He either gets on the same page, or things will eventually dry up and come to a quiet, bitter end.

((long hug)) You can do it.. just breathe, think about what it is 'you' want..and go for it.
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