I don't purposely look for red flags, when one pops up I'll usually see it.

If he's inconsistant, vague, seems to have a wall built around him, can't communicate openly, says something but doesn't follow through with action, those are all red flags to me.

Pressure to move things forward too quickly
Talking negatively about previous partners
Disrespecting waiters / bar staff
Unreliability
Jealousy

A huge redflag is the date doing something or saying something that makes you highly uncomfortable but seems "harmless" (ie. telling dirty jokes that puts a certain group of people down). Trust your inner voice. Another (although it sounds really dumb) is if my collie doesn't like someone, I look at things more carefully. My collie loves everyone and anyone (especially if they are eating or are playful kids). However, he never liked or allowed my father-in-law to touch him. The dog was right in his space when he was around my kids. I thought it must be my father-in-law's self stated dislike for dogs. Long story short, after several years of marriage I found out my father-in-law had a horrible temper and would yell/scream at anyone around. On one occasion he even grabbed me and pushed me up against a wood cabinet when no one was around because a secretary had teased him earlier that day about dying his hair (he denied it and I looked up from my work and said yes you do, that's all it took). However, my father-in-law could be very charming and looked like the perfect guy in public. He was later removed from our lives by my husband (he bought him out of the business and called the cops on him) when he crossed legal lines and put up a camera in the women's restroom at work (family business) to catch a secretary, me, and his wife (now ex). So, yeah...two things that I ignored... my inner voice and my dog.

Maebeth: I'm a firm believer in trusting your dog's instincts and their body language, I don't think there's anything dumb about that. Not one of my dogs throughout all my years of having dogs has steered me wrong whether it was with people they didn't like/trust or just them letting me know something was wrong.

I echo artemis' sentiments and add:

conversations only by text
never calls just to chat (you have to get to know me better somehow)
has no other interests
doesn't go out much with his own friends

When you get a call at 6am, telling you not to come visit for the day because his ass is in jail for disorderly conduct and resisting arrest. Really, not a good sign to me at all.

JennyWren, that doesn't sound like a red flag to me - rather a big flashing neon sign! :-)

lack of long term relationships
too many partners
poor relationship with own children
poor relationship with own parents

add alcohol dependence for a good time
not working
I have to agree with Aronia; I have learned that family relationships can tell a whole lot about a person's character.
Case in point; four out of four of my past partners had bad relationships with their children! I wish I'd know about this RED flag before...
PS: my current SO enjoys spending time with his family...

Sexual too soon (all he wants is sex)

Primarily texts (can't hold a real adult conversation)

Inconsistencies (lying is a deal breaker)

Too many things in common (I call this the "yeah, me too's!" as in, he's trying to fake commonalities with you.)

All good advice...I would like to add...

Refusal to bring u around his friends...further down the road family.
Always hanging out with the "boys" drinking at clubs..
Basically still behaving like a single man/woman even tho in a relationship.
Mean to animals.
Not having the same morals...(he does drugs or lives a shady life)
If u feel like he is a fixed upper...

Hope that helps.

More...

He tries to "fix" you... I don't need a therapist, I don't need a doctor. I already have both. So please don't tell me how to "fix" my PTSD!

Artemis....... you are so right...... more like a giant flashing neon sign! :) I think it depends at where you are a in life as well. For me, you need to really have your life together. I'm done messing around with the immature men who have drug or alcohol problems, can't hold a job, end up in jail, and can't save money if their life depended on it. I figure, the best is yet to come, so don't waste my time at this point!

I think taking too many things at red flags basically exculde most candidates!

I think it depends a lot on the kind of relationship you are looking for. The deal breakers for an 18 year old who will move out of town soon to go to college half way across the country are different than the deal breakers for a 45 year old divorce' with three kids.

I suggest you write a list, and then try to limit the deal breakers as much as you can so yu end up with the absolute deal breakers.

One last thing: avoid parallysis by over-analysis!

muppetme, I understand the point that you are trying to make. If we make of list of "must not have" too limiting, then we'll never be able to find someone for a partner.

But there are things I know I need to have. I need to have a certain level of conversation and attention in a relationship. If I start dating a man and he only texts me a few times a week and hardly ever calls to talk on the phone, I know he's not the guy for me. If I wanted a man to ignore me I would have stayed married to my ex-husband.

There are many valid reasons for the redflags listed here.