Okay let me just tell you that none of that is true. I am a woman and most of us have sexual desires and fantasies. Women masturbate and truly love sex (if it is with the right partner). Society does not give female sexuality much space or much of a voice, but it is very real.

I, too, struggle with gendertyping, ALLOT.

Women are______
Men are______

It helps me to remember that each gender represents approximately 1/2 of the world's 7.7 BILLION people. From there, it is hard to imagine getting 3 and 1/2 BILLION homo sapiens to agree on ANYTHING or to squeeze that many people into any given mold.

My love of simplicity still craves that 50-50 proposition, but. . . Reality check.

Maybe because men’s sex organs are external and so you can visually verify arousal, you are making a leap (and a big leap at that) that women must not want sex as much as men do. You would be wrong.

Women are just as sexual as men but women may respond differently to what arouses them, what they like, etc. so sure there may be differences in gender on that level, but I think you have to really take people on an individual basis rather than grouping them into who wants to get laid and who doesn’t.

You say that you're not neurotypical...so that means Aspergers?

I suspect that you're missing the social signs that women are turned on or interested. The best way to respond tends to be more complicated too.

@patti22 I do have Asperger's.

having aspergers, you may not pick up on social and subtle clues that women give.

Most women are not as overt in their sexuality and run around trying to get laid. To be honest, most women - if all they are looking for is sex - can find it pretty much anywhere.

Most women are looking at least for an emotional connection. They will wait for that connection before having sex with someone - even if it is only a one night stand, they still need to feel some sort of emotion for the person they are having sex with.

I can't speak for men, but it seems that some men do not need that connection and they just want to have sex with any pretty girl. They only think of their sexual need rather than any connection with the woman.

Now - is all you are looking for is to get laid without any emotional connection? If that is it - hire a hooker.

If you are looking for a girlfriend, you have to examine how you approach people and see if you can determine if they at least like you first.

If you are on the autism spectrum, counseling will help you if you have trouble picking up social cues, which many people with Aspergers have those issues.

I wish you luck

@MTM I did take counseling. It didn't work... twice. Even when I did bring the topic of sexual desires up to my counselors they had no advice for me nor anything to say back other than "what you're feeling is natural. It's normal." So I look to family if they have any advice instead. My family does not know anyone single with similar interests around my age, unfortunately. I've been with guys before, but I would like to be in a relationship with a female, similar to me excluding the Asperger's syndrome, too.

So you want a relationship with a woman, which includes sex, or do you just want to have sex with a woman? They are different goals entirely.

If you want a true relationship, you have to first get to know someone. If the issue is just not knowing anyone single, you have to start expanding your social interactions and broadening your scope. That way the pool of women you can potentially meet or interact with is bigger.

When you have lots of social interactions with people through the day, whether at school, work, clubs, bars, etc, your odds increase for meeting someone. I get that your Asperbers may hinder some of that but some of it is just you have to be willing to do it. Your counselors in the past are right. The sexual desire is normal. Counselors aren’t their to tell you how to get laid. They are can help you develop strategies for reading social cues, how to engage, etc. Also, the counseling process requires your active participation in the process. It’s not a magic pill. Wish it was. Life would be so much easier.

If you want a woman who shares your interests, but your interests are very specific or more predominantly shared by males, that is going to limit your exposure to single woman. So maybe leave room for a person having their own interests but where you connect on other things, like personal philosophies, ideas, sense of humor, etc. These are nuances that can be hard to get your arms around but again it might be doable with help on how to engage people about those things.

Biology.

Men don't get pregnant...woman do.

Evolution has wired women to want/need an emotional connection far more than it has in the male brain. Simple fact is, that until the last couple hundred years, it was pretty much impossible for a female to raise a child alone. Accomodating the male wish for sex...thus often meant the death of the woman and the child she loved (because there was no such thing as birth control).

Perhaps your problem with females is more a problem with evolution, than it is with females.

I understand that your issues with social skills may be far more difficult than most people realize. But I want you to also realize that social skills aren't just something trivial to most human females.

This sounds like social conditioning of male and female roles. A lot of what you wrote about it how (apparently) women are 'supposed' to act. You are most likely right, when you don't know women you see well enough it might seem like they are that way, I guess you for then it might make you feel awkward when approaching a woman you are interested in. if you are pan sexual you would most likely view the male / female gender structure differently from the way a hetero woman would. In cis structures hetero women are conditioned to protect their sexuality, some of this is there for a reason though...ie sexual violence from from cis men...there's a lot that could be discussed here...

i would like to add it's not purely only based on someones sexuality, as in not only a cis hetero woman would act this way...i guess I just used that as an example. I more meant about the social conditioning of female....you could also be pansexual and female and conditioned to act like a cis hetero woman, or you could be pansexual and female and not feel the same gender confines...

@patternskies That actually sounds correct. I do feel like that's how I grew up in our society and how we're taught in school as well. @patti22 It could be a slight evolutionary problem because that's just how the two different sexes developed throughout time, I try to fight it though. @rmb I would like to have an intimate relationship with a female. I know I have a difficult time reading social cues but that does not stop me from exploring. I've been to bars, school, college, work, explored the internet, and have travelled many distances. Also, what I meant by similar interests was not only hobbies or topics we have in common but philosophies, beliefs, and humor too. Even then I can't find people. Males for me are just easier to get along with since they always seem to express sexuality freely without hesitation, like Finland, Finland's sex education is amazing, it teaches that sex is not embarrassing, should be nothing to be ashamed of, and is completely natural, starting from the first grade! Pretty much it's get your mind out of the Victorian era and into the 2000's. I would still like a relationship with a female.