If your children were taken by a children's advocacy group, you have very specific requirements you must meet and guidelines you must follow in order to regain custody of you children. These requirements and guidelines are in place as a measure to ensure that you are indeed capable of taking care of your children. Work with your case manager to successfully fulfill your case plan so you can get your children back.

If this arrangement is less governed by the authorities, it can be a bit more daunting because the specifics tend to be less objective. But regardless, it is still very necessary to fully comply with all the requirements set forth. These are the "tests" you have to pass. Yes, you are being tested, but if you are diligent, you can pass the tests set before you.

The only way to regain the trust and respect of you children is through consistent action with their best interests at heart. Your actions speak much louder than any words of love and apologies.

And yes, you are being judged. A prudent caregiver of anyone always judges those in close proximity with their charges. That is why prudent parents vet the babysitter rather than ask a random stranger to watch the kids. So make sure when you are judged that you are judged favorably. This means you have show that you consistently make good choices, do the right thing and comply with all reasonable mandates.

This is no easy task and requires patience.

When I lost complete custody of my young children due to alcoholism, I went through a very similar situation. A couple of thoughts that helped me successfully maneuver that time in my life were

1) What I want doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is what is best for my children, that they are physically and emotionally safe, secure and well adjusted.

2) I didn't matter whether or not they "loved" me, or if they loved their father and stepmother more than they loved me. It mattered how much I loved them and what I did to prove my love to them.

what is in the Best Interest for the children
honesty
consistancy

I would ask for a sit down with the caregivers to have a plan to slowly integrate in a healthy and positive way.... A plan where you're all on the same page

It's going to take time to gain trust from the children and the caregivers... I don't know why you lost them however it's going to take as long as it takes

IF the caregivers are trying to undermine you, you may have to take a legal route.... Hopefully that's not the case and you're all wanting to put the children's best interest first

Big hug... I wish you well.....xo

Hi Libra,

First to tell is that it is great truth in what others ahead are expressing, yet the judgment of social people, in general, is wrong and rightful or practical only in the case of facing-off with the constitutional law.

There is so much of the story that is lacking in the background information necessary to offer you quality support. And I don't fault you, still more details and further references to what's happening with you can supply readers with ideas, suggestions, and tips to help you.

I can only suggest speaking with a family lawyer, one very familiar and with a great reputation at getting what's in the best interest of your children and for your legal rights as their mom. I figure this thing as a cruel burden to you at present. Most likely others have claims on your character that are judged out of things that are immoral and unfair to you. However, the desire of your heart to reconnect with your children is a sincere one. Yet it will require adherence to a standard of complete integrity by you, still, justice is on the side of that which conforms to the mind and will of God and not of the mind of men. Pray for God to help you gain knowledge of how to get through this particular set of circumstances in a proper way that's best for you and your desire to be a family with those you love and care for. Children deserve to be within a family of love and comfort. I encourage you to keep your faith and trust in a higher power than yourself. I admire you for your courage!

God be with you.

Regaining someone's trust is a long and difficult battle. Your children are probably hurt and not fully understanding of what is going on in their life but as you work hard to show you are capable of taking care of them, their trust should grow some. I like what mlr0853 said about consistency and honesty. As far as the caregivers go, they are probably just worried about the kids and want the best for them. It is normal to be wary of someone who has made a mistake. I think that proving yourself over time is all you can do. I am proud of you for doing what you need to do to get your kids back! Keep up the good work!