Silly games are indicative of immature behavior. His mate warned you, and you confirmed it, and that's his loss, and not yours.

I completely understand where you're coming from. I've been dating for the last 6 months or so and I'm not a fan. It does seem like if you tell someone you like them, they either freak out or they stop talking. Like, if you weren't in to me, why have we been hanging out for 2 months? What are you still doing here? I do think it's immature and if you're an adult, games should not still be played. Telling someone you like them isn't a marriage proposal and I don't see why it gets treated as such.

I was married for over a decade (got married at 18) and going back into the dating world was the same for me...first time dating as an "adult." I guess I would say I was totally shocked by how immature some guys were. And I am absolutely certain it's the same with women, however, I didn't date women so I can only go by what my experience was. It did seem like there were far more games than necessary. BUT...not with the mature, level-headed men that knew what they wanted, were at a good place in life, etc. This one guy I was really interested in named Dave...I felt like he was playing tons of games while seeming to be interested so I was real blase about the whole thing...I let him contact me, etc. But I continued to see other people because I learned real quick...wait for NO ONE. Well, I met my now fiance. Dave was quite upset about this after I told him I was no longer interested and all I could really say was, "Well, you should've just let me know like a big boy. I wasn't planning on waiting around for you to decide what you wanted."

So, basically, yes this is true for some but not all. I think it seems like disproportionately more men are immature than not because those immature men stay in the dating pool longer and those who aren't generally find a relationship match quicker because they aren't playing the bullshit games. Also, I have one of those "cut to the chase" personalities. I would basically just come out and say what I felt. It made it easier for me because I could just move on. I'd met plenty of GOOD guys dating but...there just wasn't a spark or whatever for me. I didn't dick around and neither did they at times.

With all this round about nonsense, basically what I'm getting at is the mature men who know what they want (i.e. a relationship) won't play games. And, if you happen to encounter one who DOES play games...you are best served to continue to see other people but, if you like them, sure, keep seeing them...just keep your options open. Wait for no one. You never know who you might pass up if you wait around for someone who isn't on the same page. Had I "waited" for Dave to make up his mind, I would've never found my fiance and, well, I'm so glad I didn't wait.

Well, it was my friend who told me that, but he was talking in general about all men, that I should never show them how attracted I am to them.

September and Redheaddiva, that really makes a lot of sense, I guess there's all kinds of people out there and I know I should keep my options open because so far there's nothing official with this guy, but at the same time I feel it would be wrong to actively look to date more people at the same time, maybe is just my lack of experience.

The weird part is I don't really get the vibe he's actually playing games, more like he doesn't know how to react or that he's just as hopeless at dating as I am but I'm already pretty paranoid and that convo with my friend made me feel like I have to play games too... but maybe that's the way my friend is and I shouldn't judge the guy based on that... I don't know anything anymore lol

There are all kinds of people and while your friend has the best intentions, he's giving you his perspective. Which is only one person's. Not everyone is like him, or you, or me. Although the game playing type does seem to be the more common one.

I'm not great at the whole dating more than one person at a time thing either. Even when I know things aren't serious yet or we haven't had the exclusive talk, I still feel bad. In the end, I know I'll end up preferring one to the other, so it's always going to be unfair to someone. And I feel you on the paranoid thing...I am the master at OVERTHINKING EVERYTHING lol.

I don't think he was playing a silly game, I just think he was watching the movie, wasn't really listening to you, so didn't respond by saying "I like you too", which is what you wanted, right?

I think this is why I will always be single really.....I have no interest in the games.........

I do think people play them....there are "rules" around dating....I find it tiring.

Lucky I'm good company cos I'm going to be hanging out with me for a long, long time........

I think he was asking you what are the qualities about him that you like. I think he rather liked what you said, and wanted to hear more, or more specifically what it is about him that you like. Those with lower self esteem often need to hear the particulars so that they can bask in the complement, instead of being confused thinking you're just saying it, they want you to mean it.

What your friend told you must be tempered in the situation you are in. There is nothing wrong with telling someone you like them, 'like' is an easy word to digest. It's the other words that people try to use in an attempt to describe somewhere in between 'like' and 'love', those are slippery words that are best avoided.

If the person you're with acts negatively towards an "I like you" comment, Danger Will Robinson, I'd be making my way to the door pronto.

Thank you all for your responses :)

After a lot of thinking I realized I need to stop overthinking everything!

Maybe I just felt it was awkward because this is all so new to me. All my previous relationships have been with someone I already knew or started as long distance so by the time I met them in person there was already some sort of connection or we had talked about that previosly, in this case this a new person to me, we don't have friends in common so I'm gonna take a step back and take it easy, try to enjoy getting to know him instead of torturing myself, maybe it will work, maybe it won't but he's not the last man on the earth right?

I'm not even gonna bother trying to learn the dating rules, I don't even know if the same rules applies here in Mexico lol, we're definitely a little too far behind when it comes to women speaking their mind.

Well, there's always the option of turning into a crazy dog lady so I have that for a back up plan :p

Sounds like this guy totally spazzed!
You have done nothing wrong. You are open and honest.. He either has a real issue accepting praise and affection or thought he should be the first to say it according to his own strange rules.
Either way - if you like him, maybe you two should talk about it ?

The comment I most agreed with was WAIT FOR NO ONE. If a man hasn't stated that he really likes you, or is ready to be exclusive, it is foolish to limit yourself from other opportunities. I wouldn't, however, sleep with more than one man at a time. That is really risky and ultimately leads to trouble, drama, or even danger. Even in the sexually free society we live in, women are judged more harshly and if a guy was thinking of becoming more serious but then realizes you are sleeping around (as he would term it), he will probably stop viewing you as a potential love match. As for games, many men play them, but in the Internet age, they often get caught at them!

As a guy, if I am into a girl, she knows it. I am elated she is into me back. There are no guessing games, there is no confusion.

It's evolutionary.

Guys evolved to be the chasers. Let them chase! If you start chasing, it throws them off their game. You can show interest, but let them do the pursuing.

I dont think guys are THAT complicated, for the most part i thinn they tell it like it is unless they are not good people and just flat out lie. My strategy in dating at this moment is definitely not going to play games... if i like you, i let you know, if you dont want to be in relationship with me or we dont click i move on. Im just brutally honest with guys because im so not into the whole games nonsense, im so over it... i dont even hang out with guy unless i have established that what they want is exclusive, meaningful healthy relationship n kids soon.... i dont even care how crazy, blunt or whatever i come across. I know what i want and im not waiting for someone to figure out what they want. Generally if a guy wants to be with you, i dont think its very hard to tell...

I suggest just asking him... do you see yourself in relationship with me, or maybe just ask... do you want a relationship with anyone at this time in your life? Dont be afraid be fearless n go after what you want. :)