Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
Hi everyone,
I was with my ex husband for 8 years. We are split now 2. He's already met someone, moved in together, had a baby together and engaged. The break up was my idea and while I don't regret it I do miss the old me. He cheated and was not a very good husband. When I first met him he was really good to me and I was happy.
Nowadays, I feel like there is something wrong with me. Initially after the split I was excited to date and move on with my life but after 2 years of it I'm getting tired. I want what me and the ex used to have but I've become very picky. I think I'm scared. I'm lonely and want to move on and find someone to spend time with but it's like I can't really be bothered. I'm feeling hopeless lately like what's the point in trying anymore? It's terrible being rejected and rejecting others but it's part of the dating scene.
Most my friends are in relationships, even the other couple of them who also got divorced. Some have even had babies since. So I'm feeling pretty alone these days. Not enjoying my life at all. Is there anyone else out there in the same boat?
Perhaps you need to shift your focus from what others are doing, to what you could be doing. Comparing oneself to others, permeates a false sense of reality. When the grass looks greener on the other side, it's usually because we've stopped watering our own lawn.
Live in the moment, and follow your desires. This is one of my favourite sayings: Be the person you want to be with. Sign up for those lessons you've always wanted to take. Join a group of interest, redecorate your home on the cheap, and start living in the moment, and enjoy life's simple pleasures. Make plans for where you want to be in two years time, and map out what that looks like.
Finding someone to be with is not what life is about. If you're feeling codependent, you're happiness will always depend on someone else. Living a full life, independently happy, keeps you happy, and those are the times when you meet compatible people. Surround yourself with the things you love to do. Allow and embrace only the people that make you feel good into your life, and everything else will fall into place.
I wish you well.
I am honestly doomed. LOL Being 44 and in the single really sucks and to make matters worse I have this strong urge of wanting another child. All my family died 3 years ago and its just me and my 2 sons. So my life is pretty much hopeless since finding a good woman young enough to have children and wanting to work on a relationship and get married is pretty much not going to happen.
Good Luck to you!
much like you
Our split was for the best for me, he's an alcoholic and has really gone off the deep end, that started toward the end of our marriage which is why it ended. But from day one (well, before, since he cheated on me with at least 2 women...) of our split, he's pretty much dated and/or had "relationships" lasting up to a few months anyway.
Sometimes, it makes me feel like a loser. That he can find people so easily. But when I look at his current caliber, and the caliber of people he dates, I realize that I could do the same, but for myself and for my son, I want someone of a better stock.
J was a little over a year when we split, he's 3 now. I have sole custody and no financial help. Dating is something I only dream about. No time, no money, no babysitters. But I still hold out hope that maybe the right guy will come along (preferably with a trustworthy mom or sister who wants to baby sit, lol!). I always thought I wanted 2-3 kids, and I would love to have 1 more baby, but I am accepting that it may not happen.
I have only browsed on dating sites, I've made profiles but not even put my picture up, and so far I've not seen anyone I'd even consider trying to jump the multiple hoops to go out with.
I have my ups and downs, but I'm trying hard to do the "totally content on my own" thing. I have the "on my own" part down, but my contentment about it varies day to day, lol.