The squeaky wheel I was referring to is NOT aimed at your school. It needs to be with the state which oversees your school district. I've seen it happen a dozen times, as soon as a school is threatened with action by the state they shape up real fast. Your focus should be on reporting the school to the proper state agency and being a squeaky wheel there. And there are laws about due process NOT taking a long time. I still think that due process and complaining to the right agencies is the way to go.

But you seem to have a rebuttal for anything that anyone suggests here to remediate the problem through the proper legal channels. You seem bent on lying to get what you want and want others to condone your actions to make you feel okay about it. I do NOT condone doing anything illegal. There was a case last year where it was discovered that some parents were lying about their address to get their child into another school Once it was discovered the parents were ultimately sued by the school district for that child's normal tuition costs. You want to place yourself in that kind of legal liability, go right ahead.

Here's the story:

http://abcnews.go.com/US/ohio-mom-jailed-sending-kids-school-district/story?id=12763654#.T1rtOfU0_To

The woman was jailed AND sued to pay back tuition costs.

ThenAgain, YOU ARE SO WRONG! I am wanting to go to the private school because it is the best I can do for my daughter without lying. My husband wants to do the bigger public school because he doesn't want to take out loans and risk our finances over this. You are really upsetting me...until you've had a daughter that has DAILY episodes with stomach pains and vomiting due to her stress please watch what you say about me! We got our doctor involved and had to have a stomach ultrasound (which was stressful on my daughter because she couldn't eat for over 12 hours; she also could barely sit still because the jelly on her stomach for the ultrasound tripped her sensory issues). We sent those results to Topeka along with all the documentation (letters, faxes, emails) about a specific teacher violating the IEP. Nothing happened other than they talked to the teacher. This is the reason my daughter now needs a para to protect her in that class and is removed 3 days a week. It has also negatively affected relationships I had with other teachers/educators my daughter has. They are now almost scared to talk to me about IEP concerns. It seems YOU are the one that is attacking me for not doing what YOU want me to do. Remember, there was 3 options not just lying or suing the district.

MTZ3,

There really isn't an issue with switching between the two (private/public). My daughter would have an IEP in both. Per the law, the new school has to follow the IEP in place until they can meet with the team (including parents) to re-write the goals and services (IEP). From my experience with this district, they leave services/goals similar to previous until the teacher/professional has time to evaluate the student. Then, they will re-write the IEP to better fit the student if needed. Also, my specific case the private school contracts with the bigger public school to actual provide their professionals to them. So, she would most likely keep the same speech path, OT, and any other professionals she would need. In the public, they have more paras in classrooms to help as well. The private is limited on para support, but I have seen cases where the private school would let adults (usually a grandparent or mother) into the class to help out during difficult parts of the day for their student (not sure how I feel about this; there are pros and cons, but at least can be done if it becomes needed).

Also, the private would be temp. only until I could get the house sold. The public has better para support and it's easier to get sped services being in the public school (some from what I've been told have an attitude about contracting with the private school; I have never seen or heard of any service violations just a few of the staff have a chip on their shoulder so to speak; this does not include the sped director, so I'm not very worried about it). No to mention the financial aspect of it.

Hope I've answered all of your questions. If not, please let me know. Thanks!

This is a really tough situation...I'm not sure what I would have chosen if Iw as in your shoes, the only thing I know is that my son has mild ADD and was not doing well in the classroom at that age.
We fortunately found a school where he was giving the attention and care he needed and eventually as he matured he learned to deal with his problems and is now on the honor roll in a regular classroom without any help of meds.
My best friend has 2 kids with autism and they both needed TONS of care while they were little.
I guess my advice would be to pick the best setting for your child where she can be given a good stardom for later years.
If private school has these abilities then I would do it. If things get better she can always go back to a regular school in middle school and who knows, maybe by that time you will be in a different school district with better services.

I think that Ohio case, is a very extreme example, throwing mom in jail, over wanting to get her daughter into a lower crime school district. Especially given that Ohio has a mandatory intradistrict and voluntary interdistrict policy already in place. In my state they have a mandatory interdistrict policy, one of my friends actually just switched his daughter to a different district, because she was being bullied in HS. However he is resposible for transporting her to and from school (does not qualify for busing services). Also looking up the laws in Kansas,it looks like they have a voluntary interdistrict policy (Interdistrict Choice program, I am sure the OP already looked into this), where by you can switch districts, but the school being transferred to, has to option to accept or reject the application (from the transferring school). Below are link to the laws for various states.

http://www.heritage.org/applications/schoolchoice

http://www.heritage.org/applications/schoolchoice

Maebeth, thank you for taking the time to explain how that works with the transfer to and from private school. Ok, that is good to know the IEP would tranfer over to the private school, and I like that the private school contracts many of their services from the public school (I was wondering how they were able to offer those services, without it costing an arm and a leg). That is good to know. I doubt we will ever go that route, but it is nice to know our options (if down the road we run into similar issues). Given what you have told me, if the cost to enroll in private school is less than what it would cost to hire the services yourself (on the side), then I would lean towards going that route.That is provided you are not able to sell your home quickly.

Again I really do wish you the best. I understand the sensitivity of your daughter's special needs, I have a nephew with Asperger's, and when my now 9 yr old son was had his first evaluation, we were told he was on the spectrum, borderline, but at the time, we opted to just go with , and see how he did from there. We hired a speech therapist who specialized in working with kids with autism-he was great, he used a lot of OT techniques in his therapy sessions (like having him my son run in circles, while calling out words-gear him up for learningit was amazing).We bought a trampoline and ball pit for this purpse too. His therapist was awesome!!!

My youngest on the other hand, has had other issues, starting with her pulling up her feet everytime we'd try and get her to stand. She Simply refused to bear weight on her legs (keep her legs straight). We didn't know if it was a sensory issue or not. Her neurologist said it was a newborn reflex, that was taking her much longer to get over. We got her into EI at 10 months old, and she finally one day starting keeping her legs straight (out of the blue), bear weight on her legs, pulled up and stood up all in the same day, we were shocked. It was a pretty crazy time. So yeah, I am somewhat familiar with the whole sensory integration thing (my daughter had an OT and PT), but thankfully so far, my kids seem to be doing good! knock on wood! Mostly we deal with the speech issues.

Good luck to you again! Thanks again for explaining all that! Good to know!

sorry typing so fast, I thought I should clarify, with my son, we chose to go the speech route (and not receive any other services, mostly my ex, was extremely against the other stuff, which is a rant in itself). And my daughter, she started receiving services (OT and PT) at around 10 months old, and she did not stop pulling up her feet (would not keep her legs straight when we'd try and bear weight on her legs) until she was 14 months old. Ahhh... We were starting to really wonder if this was a permanent thing, but then like I said, one day it was like she deciced she was ready to do it LOL. And by 21 months old, she was walking, which is pretty amazing, considering how delayed she was. She has had a sensory profile done, and she is sensory seeking, but she did not score high enough on that, to qualify for the extra services to treat that. However she was delayed in fine motor, so we worked around that using those services. My daughter will enter kindergarten next year, and it makes me a little nervous (new teachers and such), but I think she will do ok.

Mtz3,

Best of luck to you and your kids. With your daughter, if you ever need help, DS has a group called sensory integration disorder. They are not very active, but will eventually answer you. There is alot of parents with many different OTs in this group...so you get alot of ideas...for FREE. Thanks for all of your effort on my question. Thanks!

I wish you the best possible outcome on this. I know what it's like trying to navigate through the system to get help for your child. I often would go and see all these programs that are implemented and the help other kids are getting but no one listening to me when I ask them to help or test my child. My youngest graduates high school this year. So glad that will all be behind us.

I really hope your house sells for you and soon.

Take care (((HUGS))))

I am not attacking you. I am simply stating that going an illegal route is a really bad idea. If you already had your option picked out for your situation, why make this post and ask for advice? Why ask if you're going to get upset when someone suggests something that does not agree with what you want?

And BTW, you have absolutely no idea what I have had to deal with in regards to my own three children, their disabilities, and their own IEPs. My kids have actual handicaps and disabilities, not just an upset stomach while attending school. Trust me, what you are experiencing is NOTHING like I have had to deal with for the last 15 years. Don't make assumptions about me.

ThenAgain,

So what is that your children have that make your children "have actual handicaps and disabilities"? I just love that you suggested in your wording that my daughter does not.

By the way, the stomach ache is NOT the disability...it is the result of the teacher screaming at her in class when she isn't able to clap her hands to the beat, my daughter begins to cry, the teacher yells that she needs to stop NOW or she will be put in the hallway. She has been put in the hallway 3 times so far only to be brought to the principal's office by another adult, so the psych can call me. The stomach ache is NOT the issue. It is a reaction to abuse.

Please read the comment on DS right under your comment box that says:

"In adding this Comment, I ___________, do promise to be nice."

Wow thenagain, that was very mean for you to say. Her daughter has autism, and to say that isnt a real handicap was just wrong. I think you need to say sorry. I think you two mis communicated with eachother.

I believe the original complaint with this post was that the teacher/school did not have the resources to help maebeth's child with music and therefore causing a stressful situation with the child leading to severe anxiety equaling stomachaches, was it not? That *is* what we are discussing here, right? As much as maebeth would like others to condone an illegal action, I refuse to do that and called her out on it. From her replies here, it's apparent that she doesn't want any adverse opinions.

I don't discuss my children on DS, but yes they are disabled. All my children are disabled ranging from mild to severely handicapped. My most severe child has the cognitive functioning of a two year old with even less communication ability. He is almost 6 feet tall with no communication speech whatsoever and has toileting issues as well as violent outbursts. I don't think you want to play the "who has it worse?" game with me. You will lose, hands down.

Further more, maebeth, if you felt that your daughter was receiving "abuse" why didn't you yank her out of there the first time it started happening? In my opinion, you leaving her there, day after day, to endure this is only contributing to her problems. Why on earth is she still at that school when you feel your daughter is being abused?

Being "nice" does not mean that I have to agree with you. If I think someone is handling something wrong, I will speak up and say so. Don't like my opinions? There is the ignore feature.

ThenAgain,

My empathy to your situation. I can't fathom having an adult child that functions at a 2 year old level with violent outbursts and even less communication ability. It must be extremely difficult. By you sharing, I now understand where you are coming from with some of your posts. Allow us to agree to disagree respectfully.

Ok, final verdict guys...

We have the house on the market and are asking about $20,000 below appraisal, which is the lowest I can go due to the mortgage on it.

We are planning to send our daughter to the private school right now. If this does not work out, I am looking into homeschooling as an alternative. The local public school would have to service her for OT and speech while homeschooled. Believe me, I would be present AT ALL TIMES if I have to use the local school for services. I would also push harder for better professional services in OT and make sure we at least keep what we are currently getting for speech.

Thanks for all of your comments. Hopefully, in the future, special ed will be easier to attain, but for now this is what we have to offer our daughter.