Healthy Relationships Support Group
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Are you focused on one of those particular qualities when initially finding a person attractive and compatible as a potential mate? Or do you immediately begin a conversation to see and ascertain 2-3 of these qualities at once?
Likewise, if already in a relationship, do you favor one of these three qualities in your mate over the other two, or do you like all three qualities, the entire constitution, in your mate?
I tend to look visually first, because the visual is the first thing we SEE, and her physical form is what I'm going to be LOOKING at when we talk.
Then I look for the kind of emotional tone I'd feel comfortable in. The tone of her voice either makes me feel comfortable and draws me in, or grates on my nerves and repels me.
If the other two have met some sort of minimum criteria in me, then I focus on the intellectual, discussion topics we might enjoy, where we grew up, political and spiritual or religious affiliations, taste in music and movies, etc.
Likewise, if already in a relationship, do you favor one of these three qualities in your mate over the other two, or do you like all three qualities, the entire constitution, in your mate?
I tend to look visually first, because the visual is the first thing we SEE, and her physical form is what I'm going to be LOOKING at when we talk.
Then I look for the kind of emotional tone I'd feel comfortable in. The tone of her voice either makes me feel comfortable and draws me in, or grates on my nerves and repels me.
If the other two have met some sort of minimum criteria in me, then I focus on the intellectual, discussion topics we might enjoy, where we grew up, political and spiritual or religious affiliations, taste in music and movies, etc.
Thank goodness I am not dating... I don't think I'd be happy... 40+ women have to compete with women 25-50... Most women I know 40+ are looking for 40-50 yr olds.. We have 25 yr old children we don't need another one.
Sorry for the rant.
Jaymee: Regarding the troll, if the troll were talkative and FUNNY, I beg to differ! Even if the troll weren't getting the supermodel's attention, and the troll were merely making other trolls laugh, the troll would be having fun anyway and wouldn't care.
Lovingsimple: Peaceful and kind. Good point, so true. I'm generally peaceful and kind, content within myself, have simple tastes and don't need much to be happy. I do recognize that having a beautiful, loving woman in my life does add warmth, and warmth is good, plus a woman's visual beauty improves the scenery, the viseage, gives me something interesting to look at lol!
Growing up as child I loved (and still do) the older women in my family - aunts, grandmothers etc. They were soft and warm and some were fat and cuddly too! Of course even as a child I could tell that they werent as pretty as young women but they were sweeter, more loving and kind. Only a very special kind of man can appreciate the beauty of a woman who is 40+, 50+ and more. It is a pure and childlike kind of love that has little to do with much outer beauty. If she has raised his children and he knows anything about mature love, he would have the ability to love her immensely.
But unfortunately this is at the age when too many men leave their wives for younger women. To find a man on a dating site who knows this kind of love may be a rare find, but there IS a 50s and over site. I hope most of the men there are not in their 90slol!
Koolman:
I agree that beautiful women are what men want. It is natural. Fortunately, every piece of cloth has its owner, and for every unattrative woman, there is a man just as ugly to match, and guess whatthey are beautiful in each others eyes. But I think it is unreasonable for men to find women their own age to be repulsive, while reaching for young pretty women, when they themselves are neither young nor pretty.
We should all invest in Viagara stocks.those must be doing consistently welllol!.
I noticed my H working out at the gym, Small talk as he was going in and out of the gym wasn't really going to let me know if he was a keeper. We went out and he could hold a conversation and he made me laugh. So there was another date. 30 years later hotter than he was when we met... Much smarter too.
makes me laugh that everyone is so concerned what others think. i went out with him because he was Hot. i stayed because we had a lot in common.
Not everyone is a GQ model.... I get that, my H isn't either.... But he is to me.
Personally, I don't think I could fall in love with someone who is shorter than I am (although I haven't tested that). There is something about being female that makes me want to have to look up to see his eyes, and when I want to be held and comforted I don't want my face to land on top of his head!
Lucky you Jaymee, for having such a hot husand! If he's just as loving, you're a blessed woman!
Koolman, it is nice that you are kind, peaceful and simple. .I hope you know that you wont't be happy with someone who is none of those things no matter how intellectual nor pretty. I hope you have/will find someone who is all of that. See, there is something very beautiful about a peaceful person. They don't do a lot of wrong things because they don't like confusion. And that is massive!!
I'm sure there is somebody out there who wull love him.
Thank God for that!
An even shorter woman lol?