Healthy Relationships Support Group
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So, the last relationship I was in was long term and serious. We lived together, were best friends, and the split was hard. I gave myself plenty of time to heal because I did not want to fall in to the "rebound relationship" trap. I don't think those help anyone involved in a breakup and often end up hurting an innocent bystander. So, that being said...
I've been kind of seeing someone that I really like. I think part of my problem is that I have been out of the dating game for awhile and I don't really remember how all this works and what is normal anymore. I went out with this guy 4 times in just over a week and had a great time and he's been really sweet, affectionate and funny. Since our last date, we've texted back and forth for about a week, but he's made no mention of going out again. He calls me by pet names and such, but I'm finding that he's kind of a hard dude to read. We both work full time during the week and our area got hit by one of the snow storms on Monday (he mentioned that his car is not the most practical in the snow and has had to have friends help him out.) I'm hoping to hear something from him tomorrow, since it's Friday, but I guess I'll wait and see.
I guess my real question is, if you were into someone, would you have tried to make plans by now? I keep feeling like maybe it's not as good as I think or he's been busy taking other girls out. We haven't had any talks of being exclusive yet, so technically he can still do that I suppose, but it makes for a crappy feeling. I asked my friend's husband for his opinion on it, whether it was looking like a lost cause or if I was just having a crazy girl moment and he said I was having a crazy girl moment and needed to just calm down a bit. What are some of your opinions on it? Like I said, it's been awhile since I've dated and feel free to talk me off the ledge or push me over it lol.
Stupid feelings and all the weird shit they make our brains do. I just re read what I wrote and even I think I sound a little spastic.
I've been kind of seeing someone that I really like. I think part of my problem is that I have been out of the dating game for awhile and I don't really remember how all this works and what is normal anymore. I went out with this guy 4 times in just over a week and had a great time and he's been really sweet, affectionate and funny. Since our last date, we've texted back and forth for about a week, but he's made no mention of going out again. He calls me by pet names and such, but I'm finding that he's kind of a hard dude to read. We both work full time during the week and our area got hit by one of the snow storms on Monday (he mentioned that his car is not the most practical in the snow and has had to have friends help him out.) I'm hoping to hear something from him tomorrow, since it's Friday, but I guess I'll wait and see.
I guess my real question is, if you were into someone, would you have tried to make plans by now? I keep feeling like maybe it's not as good as I think or he's been busy taking other girls out. We haven't had any talks of being exclusive yet, so technically he can still do that I suppose, but it makes for a crappy feeling. I asked my friend's husband for his opinion on it, whether it was looking like a lost cause or if I was just having a crazy girl moment and he said I was having a crazy girl moment and needed to just calm down a bit. What are some of your opinions on it? Like I said, it's been awhile since I've dated and feel free to talk me off the ledge or push me over it lol.
Stupid feelings and all the weird shit they make our brains do. I just re read what I wrote and even I think I sound a little spastic.
If hes someone you just met and went out four times in a week....and hes still texting or calling or whatever ..then yea I agree ur being a little girly crazy....
He more than likely is interested or he wouldnt be texting still.
U definitely dont want to come on too strong and risk scaring him off..
Dont forget the beginning of a relationship..or dating whatever ..the lust that comes with it...the excitement of something new and uncharted..dont let your self fall into that.
If he doesnt ask to make plans in the next few days theres nothing wrong with casually throwing it out there..
Maybe its like u said...his car doesnt do well in the snow so u have to wait it out till theres less on the road..
I m a little out off by the fact that he calls you pet names already lol
You saw each other 4 times in just over a week.
Since your last date you have texted back and forth but he has made no mention of going out again.
He could be busy, BUT... if on that 4th date you" got it on" lol.. he could be done with the chase. Do you want to see him again? Call him up and invite him somewhere and see what he says. If you DID "get it on" what is the point of being coy now and waiting for him to ask you out, kwim?
It should be about what YOU want. If he makes an excuse about his car or whatever.. you'll have your answer.
If you still enjoy texting/ chatting with him, keep on doing so, but I would not keep my schedule free/ open for him (waiting for him to ask you out on another date). He'll likely ask you out again (unless he did meet someone else), but who knows when? In the mean time, keep yourself busy.
If/ when he asks you out again, and you happen to be available, and you want to see him, go out and have fun! But do not wait around for him (
And no, there is nothing wrong with asking him out for a date! It may be he's unsure of himself, waiting for you to ask him out! But if you ask him out, and he get flakey on you (won't commit to a time/ date), I'd maybe ask one more time, then leave it alone.
I have started over a few times. There's a saying I have and proved it with everyone "your first is not your last" even after long them relationships or a marriage. First of all if you feel like crap from how he naturally is most likely he's not the one for you. After 4 dates the two of you should have an idea where its going. Yours AND his happiness counts. If your not happy or its causing anxiety already what do you think it will be like in 6 more months?? A year from now?? And so on.
My advice since your new to the dating world is.... live in the dating world a while. Let men take you out spend there money on you and have fun. Locking into the first one out of a relationship is not healthy. Date around a little. See what's out there. Your not getting married right now are you?? Ok. Then shop for some fresh meat. I live in a small town and its hard meeting ppl. I also look on a website called plenty of fish. Or pof.com. it is 100% free to sign up and you can message anyone as many times as you wish without a limit. see what men are in your area. Talk to someand go out. II've been single again for only 7 months and I've been out with dozens of ladies since. The ones I think will be good are amazing. Then I find someone more amazing.
Let yourself be pampered. You deserve it. Please don't lock down on the first sweet talker you find. That's always bad news. Best of luck to you.