Healthy Relationships Support Group
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I often hear other women saying they prefer friendship with guys because there's less drama, I have pretty amazing female friends and the ones that were drama queens have been out of my life for a long time, still, I really enjoyed the simplicity of the friendship with guys.
I don't have a ton of friends, specially male ones, basically just a couple, one of them was a fwb a long time ago and since my marriage was over he wanted to go back to that, I told him that's not what I want and now he basically only texts me when he's drunk, so we don't hang out anymore. The other one is like my best male friend, we used to go running at least 3 times a week and even go to races together, he has a girlfriend so that made me feel comfortable. Thing is, I saw him yesterday, I was helping him get some stuff because he was going camping, I asked about his girlfriend and he said they had a fight, then I told him I'm seeing someone and then we changed the subject again. Long story short, we were drinking and he tried to kiss me, I pushed him away, reminded him he has a girlfriend and I'm interested in someone else, then like half an hour later he tried again and I decided to leave. I don't think alcohol being involved is an excuse, he knew perfectly well what he was doing.
Now I feel bummed because: a) Now I wonder if the whole friendship was a try to have something else with me, b) Mad at girlfriend or not, he still has one and I didn't think he was that kind of guy and c) Even if there was mutual attraction I deserve more than be the girl he made out with when he was drunk and mad at his gf, so that makes me think he doesn't appreciate me or respect me enough.
Do you think I'm overreacting because I see this as a bad sign for the future of the friendship?
I don't have a ton of friends, specially male ones, basically just a couple, one of them was a fwb a long time ago and since my marriage was over he wanted to go back to that, I told him that's not what I want and now he basically only texts me when he's drunk, so we don't hang out anymore. The other one is like my best male friend, we used to go running at least 3 times a week and even go to races together, he has a girlfriend so that made me feel comfortable. Thing is, I saw him yesterday, I was helping him get some stuff because he was going camping, I asked about his girlfriend and he said they had a fight, then I told him I'm seeing someone and then we changed the subject again. Long story short, we were drinking and he tried to kiss me, I pushed him away, reminded him he has a girlfriend and I'm interested in someone else, then like half an hour later he tried again and I decided to leave. I don't think alcohol being involved is an excuse, he knew perfectly well what he was doing.
Now I feel bummed because: a) Now I wonder if the whole friendship was a try to have something else with me, b) Mad at girlfriend or not, he still has one and I didn't think he was that kind of guy and c) Even if there was mutual attraction I deserve more than be the girl he made out with when he was drunk and mad at his gf, so that makes me think he doesn't appreciate me or respect me enough.
Do you think I'm overreacting because I see this as a bad sign for the future of the friendship?
Shelle, my thoughts exactly, I honestly don't feel like trying to "explore the reason", if he had done that when we were both single (like 3 months ago) it would have been awkard but nothing else (I'm not attracted to him), but now I just feel disrespected, to try to put me in the situation of being "the other woman", even if it was just a one time thing, not cool.
Salty, I too have a wonderful gay friend, I think I'll just stick to him and female friends for now :p
Yes, there can be a lot of drama with women. But I think having guy friends can potentially have drama too...hence the awkward trying to kiss u thing. Different drama, same shit.
The only male friends I have are the spouses/bfs of my girlfriends. I would try to have guy friends, but never connected that way with most. Or I would find myself wanting more.
I do think it's possible, like kool man said if you are both not attracted to each other, gay, or in happy committed relationships.
Shanbanan, he meant a lot to me, but after feeling disrespected I'm not sure anymore, the thing is he had a chance to say something when he was single and I wasn't seeing anyone, so the fact that he tried something just now makes me think he doesn't want something serious with me, but just to fool around, you know?
Parkour, what other things?
If I know I cannot reciprocate the feelings, regardless of the reason - if I truly care for them as my friend, I would not want to hurt them by subjecting them to unrequited love etc. I've been on that side of the fence and its hurtful. Watching a man I loved so dearly be sweet on another girl, and then tell me I was his best friend.. awful.