So over 4 years ago when the economy took a dive, hubby was laid off. He wanted to go on unemployment insurance while looking for a new job, or while waiting until he could go back to work at the company he was laid off from. I didn't want him sitting at home doing nothing....mostly because he's an alcoholic and I feared he would just sit at home and drink while I worked all day and I'd have to come home to clean up and watch him act stupid. That's another topic, but not so much of an issue anymore.
So hubby went back to what he knew from years of experience before I met him... long haul trucking. He started out working for his old boss from the past. Wasn't finding he was getting home that much, and getting screwed around for not enough pay. I Guess him and my dad would talk, and my dad being business savvy, saw an opportunity and helped hubby start a business and buy a truck. 4 years later, they have 2 other drivers and a flat deck and dry van as well. Things have happened over the last year that have put my parents in a financial crisis. A 3rd party that my hubby knew through work was going to invest and take over the dispatching. It worked for a while, but he didn't want to do it anymore and a ton of money was lost. Another friend of hubby's ended up buying a new truck with the help of the business and was in it 100%. That lasted a few months and then he felt he couldn't afford it financially even though him and his wife had budgeted and fully committed. Again, tons of money lost. Through repairs, not enough continuous work, etc etc, the business is more than likely losing money and my parents have lost hundreds of thousands of their own money (retirement money amongst that) trying to keep the business afloat and with buying 2 trucks etc. My dad was doing illegal ATM transactions (kiting) and was caught. He was only doing this to cover funds etc, but it was wrong. There credit cards were taken away and bank accounts closed. Luckily my mom is okay and can keep her account. The business accounts are luckily okay too. Now my dad asked me the name of the debt company my hubby and I are using so he can call them
Hubby and I were stuck in debt ourselves and are 3 years into a repayment program. We are starting to get back on our feet this past year while living with my parents. One of the things helping my parents is the fact we pay them $800 a month for rent and food.
My parents are essentially about to be bankrupt and I feel solely responsible. I brought my hubby into the family. What if I had never met him? My parents would be fine. Going to Vegas yearly for their anniversary like they always do. My parents paid for most of our wedding. I was thinking of leaving my husband recently and the business always crossed my mind, but I never knew until a few weeks ago just how extreme the situation was. That is not why I am staying with hubby though. We are working on our communication amongst other things and it's been night and day so far.
Back to the topic at hand....hubby feels like absolute shit. He is bearing this burden and feeling helpless and responsible for my parents situation. I also am feeling horrible and at fault. My sister who knows the situation as well says that it could have been anyone that dad jumped on for "a business opportunity". Just because I married a truck driver, doesn't make me responsible for what has happened. Hubby says this to me too. So how do I stop the guilty feelings? How do I make hubby feel better? We feel like shit and like my parents are suffering because of choices we made. If I had just let hubby take time off when he was laid off this never would have happened. He didn't really want to go back to truck driving but did it for us.
Will I ever get over these feelings?