Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
Today when I was talking with my fiance on Facebook he told me that he was going to Wabasha on Tuesday. For those of you who aren't familiar with the town of Wabasha, MN it is famous for being the setting for the Grumpy Old Men movies. He and I need to spend some time together. We both have that day off so I didn't see a reason for me not to go. I get paid on Tuesday but I can't get the check until after 3pm anyway so why not wait another day. In addition to needing to spend time together especially because we haven't seen each other for a few weeks he tends to drink a lot down there and I would be able to drive us home. In April when we both went he did have quite a lot to drink and he was lucky I was with otherwise he could of easily got himself in trouble. I sent him a message on Facebook after he signed off saying to think about me going and how I felt. I am hoping he reads it and thinks about it. It really hurts when he doesn't want me along and I have already given him a lot of space.
deleted_user
You might feel you have given him a lot of space, but what does he feel? If theres 1 thing i've learnt, its that men think differently! Men also need you to straight talk to them, what i mean is they dont take hints and they cant read in between the lines.You have to be direct.
deleted_user
Maybe facebook isn't the right place for this conversation. I think in writing it might be hard to express exactly how you feel. Maybe he has some explaination that is too hard to write out, or maybe he isn't getting it that you don't want to "tag along" but that you want to spend some quality time together. Also you could probably stress to him better over the phone or in person how important it is that he doesn't drink and drive. Guys can be a little block headed about that kind of stuff. I say try him on the phone and see what he says then.
deleted_user
Just to add to the others; having a conversation on Facebook? doesn't seem very intimate! I recognize the desperation you have, as I'm that way as well. Make myself enough of a "need", he'll have to be with me. It may be something to consider, how you are always so available to rescue him. Once in a while is okay, but you aren't responsible for the decisions he makes with drinking. Who was he planning on going to Wabasha with anyway????
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