Marriage doesn’t automatically mature people. In the fact, the pressures of marriage, family, etc can make immaturity more apparent, in my opinion.

Is he ready to be a parent? If not, for real, you might want to hold off starting a family for a bit.

rmb- He says that he is ready but then doesn't really act like it at the same time. He is really great with kids and when we talk about kids he is really supportive and talks about what kind of parent he wants to be but i am afraid that it is all talk.

Hi Sammy! I agree to hold off on having kids. Being "great with kids" isn't the same as being a parent 24/7.

What kinds of immaturity concerns do you have with him? Is it his work, household duties, how he handles money, etc?

I saw in your other post that you suffer with depression. Maybe getting a handle on that could help with everything in your life. Have you tried therapy, seen a psychiatrist, etc? I know it is tough. But there are new ways to help depression.

Having a baby now, before all of these issues are addressed, is really going to be rough for you, in my opinion.

I agree with the others - put off making a family until you are sure you have the makings of a solid marriage.

I will tell you about my marriage mistakes and maybe you can get some guidance from it. We met in our late teens and really fell for each other. Dated and after a year moved in together. She got pregnant and I asked her to marry me. While we rose to the tasks at hand we weren’t ready for the commitment. We were just getting to know each other and suddenly our daughter came (premature no less) into our life. While I worked six days a week to support my little family she put all her love into our angel. The most loving mom. But our lives didn’t mature in the way they should have. So many things felt like a struggle. Intimate times were rare because we were both exhausted. I was stuck in an immaturity of longing to just have a romantic relationship that never developed. She grew resentment that she didn’t have much time for her friends. Our two children are adults now and we love them. But we really shouldn’t have gotten married much less had kids. We would have realized this if we had the opportunity to really live together as a young couple. Wait on this life Changing experience. Oh and look up the average cost of raising a child to adult (18). It’s a number that needs to make you think. Don’t wing it like we did. It’s not fair to anyone.

You should spend time getting to know each other and learning your goals and dreams.
Starting a family without planning will put a strain on you that has ruined many families.
Get your life's on the same supportive tracks before you bring someone in to your life's.

Big hug for you Sammy......I agree that marriage takes a lot of work and effort.....

I wouldn't be trying to have a child if there are problems.... A baby is a massive 24/7 responsibility and will be for many years to come

I would wait until you're both feeling more settled and content in your marriage if it were me

If my math is correct, you met and started dating your husband at age 16. He might have been quite a catch, a perfect match for you and an awesome boyfriend at the time. But based on your recent posts, it appears that over the last 8 years, you have grown up and away from him. You seem to be more ambitious, goal-oriented and need more structure than him. That isn't a bad thing, but those are the types of things that can cause struggles in a relationship.

I guess what I am trying to say is that a guy who is great BF material at age 16 may not be great husband material for you at age 24.

You are young, I assume no kids are involved. This is the perfect time to honestly evaluate your relationship. If you met your husband for the first time now, would he fit the bill for potential lifetime partner, or would he be lacking in what you want for a husband? Sometime those high school romances run their course, but the parties are so entrenched in the status quo that it is difficult to recognize that the "relationship" is over. Marriage is not a conscious decision but rather the next step in the process. Marriage is what is expected - seems like the right thing to do - instead of a conscious commitment and acceptance of the other person. Your other post indicates you saw the issues before you got married, but thought it would get better once we say "I do". If you didn't have the history behind you, would you still chose him?

Divorce is not the end of the world. Many times, divorce is the first step in living the rest of your life with the love and happiness you truly want and deserve.

Hugs and prayers to you, you have some big and important decisions to make.