Healthy Relationships Support Group
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So here's the long story.
It begins with my girlfriend Telly hanging out with this guy named Joshua. Now Telly has alot of male friends, and I don't get jealous of them. Joshua has always been different. He gets involved in our stuff. I've asked numerous times for her to not talk to him about stuff since she's asked me not to speak to a woman named Jenn about out stuff. I felt that was fair, but she doesn't respect that at all. Now Joshua is always poking and tickling her and so on. I used to raise an issue about it but when he got a girlfriend of his own and he was still doing it, I decided that even though it still bothered me I wasn't going to bring it up cause it would just cause a fight and honestly I'd get over it eventually.
Well I do alot for my girlfriend or so I'm told. I drive her everwhere she wants to go. When she wants to go to the stores in Barrie, i drive the 45 minutes there and back and shop with her even if i don't have anything to buy. When she needed to move, I spent four days moving her, her aunt, her grandparents and her two roommates where they needed to go. I pick her up when she wants and so on. I try to show her I appreciate her and do many other things. Well Joshua was never there for any of that, he didn't offer, but would show up when the work was done and say "well I would've helped" or he'd show up later and do something sweet and instantly what I did would be forgotten (maybe that's just my opinion of it, kinda why I'm asking here). Things like when I got all her groceries and took them to her place, i couldn't hang out with her cause he was gonna come over. So when he showed up apparently he said something sweet and suddenly it's all over facebook and it's going on and on about how sweet he is. Well whatever.
So back to the advice issue. My girlfriend's brother lives 30 hours away and I know it kills her when he leaves after a visit. Well yesterday I told her I would meet her at her house. Now unfortunately I didn't sleep well all week and crashed the night before. I didn't wake up until late and when i woke up i messaged her and appologized. She said she was fine. I kept asking to make sure but she kept saying she was fine. So I still felt bad but got a few other things done. Maybe I should've asked if she wanted me to go over...it could've saved alot of issues.
Last night while she was at work we were texting and she said that she wasn't fine and she was furious that i hadn't been there to support her and no wonder people think Joshua and her are so close cause he's always there for her. I couldn't believe she said it. I felt it was uncalled for, but had no idea what to make of it. Did I deserve that? Was I really that wrong?
It begins with my girlfriend Telly hanging out with this guy named Joshua. Now Telly has alot of male friends, and I don't get jealous of them. Joshua has always been different. He gets involved in our stuff. I've asked numerous times for her to not talk to him about stuff since she's asked me not to speak to a woman named Jenn about out stuff. I felt that was fair, but she doesn't respect that at all. Now Joshua is always poking and tickling her and so on. I used to raise an issue about it but when he got a girlfriend of his own and he was still doing it, I decided that even though it still bothered me I wasn't going to bring it up cause it would just cause a fight and honestly I'd get over it eventually.
Well I do alot for my girlfriend or so I'm told. I drive her everwhere she wants to go. When she wants to go to the stores in Barrie, i drive the 45 minutes there and back and shop with her even if i don't have anything to buy. When she needed to move, I spent four days moving her, her aunt, her grandparents and her two roommates where they needed to go. I pick her up when she wants and so on. I try to show her I appreciate her and do many other things. Well Joshua was never there for any of that, he didn't offer, but would show up when the work was done and say "well I would've helped" or he'd show up later and do something sweet and instantly what I did would be forgotten (maybe that's just my opinion of it, kinda why I'm asking here). Things like when I got all her groceries and took them to her place, i couldn't hang out with her cause he was gonna come over. So when he showed up apparently he said something sweet and suddenly it's all over facebook and it's going on and on about how sweet he is. Well whatever.
So back to the advice issue. My girlfriend's brother lives 30 hours away and I know it kills her when he leaves after a visit. Well yesterday I told her I would meet her at her house. Now unfortunately I didn't sleep well all week and crashed the night before. I didn't wake up until late and when i woke up i messaged her and appologized. She said she was fine. I kept asking to make sure but she kept saying she was fine. So I still felt bad but got a few other things done. Maybe I should've asked if she wanted me to go over...it could've saved alot of issues.
Last night while she was at work we were texting and she said that she wasn't fine and she was furious that i hadn't been there to support her and no wonder people think Joshua and her are so close cause he's always there for her. I couldn't believe she said it. I felt it was uncalled for, but had no idea what to make of it. Did I deserve that? Was I really that wrong?
Sometimes I think people get so wrapped up in doing things for others and trying so hard not to cause any conflicts with their partner that they in a sense lose themselves. I am not saying your gf is using you but she is expecting what you dish out so to speak.
Perhaps it would be wise to step back a bit and not be so readily available to her all the time. It might be a good idea to balance the time you spend with her and make sure you are also involving yourself with other things you enjoy as well as good friends. Also saying no to her once in awhile might help you to determine if this is the kind of relationship you really want for your future.
As for this other fella Joshua well he sounds like a player to me and people like that usually end up showing their true colors in then end. Your gf sounds like she is using you both in a sense to get whatever she wants done at the time. Anyway I realize you care for her deeply but maybe now is the time for you to start focusing more on what you want and see if your gf can be there for you as much as you have been there for her.
It would be better to know exactly where you stand now in this relationship rather then walk around on eggshells dreading a moment when she may hurt you later on. I also think if you do distance yourself a bit from her it will show if she truly appreciates you for who you are. Don't settle for anything less then you deserve and try to focus on becoming more confident in who you are because there are many people out there who will respect that and give you the same respect in return. Wishing you the very best.:)