Healthy Relationships Support Group
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So, again with I just can't get along with females and have lack of understanding. Recently, with our current advancement through the 21st century, I fear that if I flirt or make a small incorrect gesture when trying to get along with some girl I will be falsely accused of harassment; Flirting being confused with sexual harassment. That could just be an unfortunate sign of how much patriarchy has been engrained into society, therefore a lack of understanding, but I also fear radical feminists are around that will do everything to put me down in the most awkward and unrelated of situations. Also, as with the last post I made, I just don't find females as ever being sexually aroused. I never observe it and really never hear about it. The only reason why girls and guys get along is because of common interests or generosity of the female, never because of sexual desires. I think that may have to partly do with how I was raised, with my mother and grandmother hating the appearance of naked bodies and being grossed out by sexual situations and content. Their mentality rubbed off on me. So I can really only get along with guys because I know guys are very often aroused and I know the desires of males. I unfortunately can't figure out how to get along with females despite I would like to have a girlfriend. They just don't seem horny and want to avoid anything sexual, as with the stuff above. Like I said, I just don't understand. Also living with Autism Spectrum Disorder makes the situation much more difficult. I don't communicate well, other people need to start an in person conversation for me, and I do not know the difference between flirting and harassment so I'm left being a bit paranoid that I will be falsely accused and my life, already partly depressing, being ruined. I'm not good socially. Some days I just face the highly possible future that I will never have a significant other and will live being lonely for the rest of my life. I can't tell when a female likes me because, again, I just find that females are never horny, find sex weird, are a bit confusing, and me being incapable of noticing many social cues of girls.
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Well, good morning to you!Today is National Roller Coaster Day. Are any of you going?It's also National Tell-A-Joke Day! Come up with some and share!I'm not bright with jokes these days, but I'll start:"Today I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon...I'll let you know." :D
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Woke up feeling very emotional and about to clock in at my place of employment. And can't place it all in writing but not been a good experience with my store manager or his boss. Defamation of my character is a concern. I've been losing appetite and weight. Trying to perform at work to keep myself from hospitalization as a result of toxic masculinity.
In other posts I thought you said you had a therapist but you weren’t finding that helpful. If I misstated I apologize. If you are seeing someone and it’s not working for you, changing therapists is appropriate. Therapy is not an easy fix. It does take commitment. Also if you feel you have depression or other mental health issues you can address those with medication if needed. You aren’t resigned to a life of misery simply because you may feel like there’s a genetic component. A lot of families have history of medical, mental, sub abuse issues and it in no way means you are destined to suffer.
I’m not sure in what context your grandma or mom are grossed out by naked bodies or sex. They just may feel uncomfortable talking about it. That’s not unusual in a lot of families. If it’s extreme aversion that’s a little different.
My son is a little aspie and he is not dating either, but he knows exactly what he wants and is waiting for the right time.
I guess it would be helpful to know what kind of girl you like and then learn about what your type of girl may find interesting.
For example - I like really smart men, so when someone on a dating site messages me and says “ hi how are you? “ and says nothing else, i can usually predict that it will lead to nothing, because my type of guy will say something that has substance to it, a conversation starter.
Also, for example, if a guy starts a conversation with : “ hi, you are so beautiful”
Ok, not to be conceited, but I know that I am attractive, but I usually write interesting things about my life, my work and education and out of all that, the only thing that someone say is that i’m Attractive ? This kind of lets me know that the man is not paying attention to who I am as a person.
This is why I think it is important to find out what kind of girls you like and then learn what they would be interested in, then start a conversation about that. I think online is a perfect opportunity to do so.
If you want , I can help you with what to say. You can message me.
What I see in some of your writing is catastrophizing …… I've copied a paragraph of it
I don't communicate well, other people need to start an in person conversation for me, and I do not know the difference between flirting and harassment so I'm left being a bit paranoid that I will be falsely accused and my life, already partly depressing, being ruined. I'm not good socially. Some days I just face the highly possible future that I will never have a significant other and will live being lonely for the rest of my life. I can't tell when a female likes me because, again, I just find that females are never horny, find sex weird, are a bit confusing, and me being incapable of noticing many social cues of girls.
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It's extremes all or nothing.... " your life will be ruined"...."live lonely for the rest of your life'...."females are never horney'
These aren't true statements..... At this point you haven't met a partner..... Right now you're feeling lonely and would like to meet someone.... You do have some barriers and it would be great to find ways around this.... Right??
A cognitive or behavioural type of therapy could help you a great deal Gap.... It's not a quick fix and it will take work and you plugging into the process.... However it can help.... Maybe this could be a first good step.....xo