I know I can't explain every single detail, but I will try to share the basics and be as neutral as possible.  My BF of over 3 years and I have had a strange week.  He's been unusally quiet and pensive. It has been difficult to have a conversation with him.  It feels like pulling teeth to get him to talk.  He may or may not respond to text messges.  He is quiet more than usual on the phone.  When i ask if everything is okay, he says he is fine nothing is wrong.  I dont want to think that he is going through another bout of depression, but I think he is.  Two weeks ago he called me (half way drunk which I can't stand and have asked him not to call me when he is like this but he does it anyway) lamenting about how he doesn't know my schedule anymore and he won't call me, he will wait for me to contact him in the evenings.  I don't know where this is coming from.  When the school year begins, my schedule picks up.  I've got my job (I teach), I have  pt job 2 nights/wk, my child has extra curricular activities 3x/wk, AND I'm in an online class.  I try to go to bed at a decent hour so I can be ontime for work.  The drill is familiar to anyone who has the job of raising a child alone.  What does he do?  Not much.  He is semi-retired, doesn't work on a regular basis, sits around his house all day watching television, sleeping, smoking cigars, and probably hanging out at a smoke shop.  I don't know.  He said he was going to secure a job to keep himself busy and increase his income (it has now been 2 years since he has made good on that statement).

He says that he sees the hand writing on the wall about our relationship.  I'm involved in my career and not trying to move where he is.  He isn't trying to come to where I am either.  I've offered a compromise of living in the middle (we are about 2 hours away from each other) which would mean I would commute to work and he would move to the central location.  He says, that would mean he would have to sell his house.  My response is that why would I leave a good paying job to move where he is, uproot my child from his friends and excellent school, take a pay cut, loose tenure, etc?  One of his responses was that someone has to move.  I've tried to see if I could get another job in his area, but I love my job, the benefits, the experiences, the kids, my coworkers, my church, and my son feels the same way.

Tonight he was disturbed because I made plans with a coworker for the weekend.  My coworker and I both have boys and we thought it would be a good idea for them to hang out and have a few moments of fun over the holiday weekend.  I shared with him my plans.  This bothers him b/c we were supposed to have plans.  He said that he was expecting me to come up to see him.  I reminded him that we didn't have anything written in stone regarding my coming to see him.  He said that my text showed that I made a decision not to come to see him.  I made a decision to go somewhere else that didn't include him and he is just pointing out that I decided to do something and we had other plans (not true).  To be honest, I wasn't all that thrilled about traveling to go anywhere that took more than 30 minutes to get to.  He has done the same thing to me and I have never made a big deal about it at all.  If he decided to do something differently, I simply said okay and let it go, found something else to do, and kept things rolling.  He is sounding like a wounded puppy, being dramatic, and trying to make me feel as if I've committed some kind of relationship crime by "makine a decision" to spend time with a coworker and our sons.  

What is this?  I mean really...I wondered, should I apologize?  I did acknowledge that I could have handled it differently (not send the notification via text, check to see what plans he had in mind, expressed that I wanted to do something else this weekend-didn't want to do that b/c I was trying to avoid what I'm dealing with now anyway...damned if I do and damned if I don't.  There is so much more.  I'm 52 years old with a young son (13)-yes...I KNOW!!!!, been on my own since my divorce in 2007.  Maybe I've been by myself too long.  I know what co-dependency feels like, been there done that.  I'm beginning to feel like this man is trying to take me down a path I do not want to go.

Our last argument was while we were on vacation in the Bahamas this summer.  It was a bad one too.  He got upset b/c I asked a worker a questions about directions to where we were wanting to visit.  He was upset b/c he had already told me how we would be getting there.  I showed disrespect for him b/c I asked for additional information from a local resident.  

Yes, I think the handwriting is on the wall.  Maybe neither one of us wants to be the first one to say it is over.  I was hoping that we could work through this stuff, but it may be just too much.  Like all relationships, there's more.  There's always more.  For now, I just want to know from a neutral person if what I did was so wrong.  I tried to acknowledge his feelings and admitted that I could have handled it better, but he brushed me off.  After that I said that it seems like we don't have much more to say tonight and got off of the phone.  I"m too old for this kind of behavior.