Okay let's Encourage someone to stay in an abusive relationship. Maybe next time she throws a chair chair she can connect and give him broke bones, multiple bruises, brain damage, or hey - maybe even kill him.

NO ONE deserves physical abuse, violent threats, and being called names by someone who claims to "love you".

This is absolutely about tolerance. You may have no control over her actions, but you have complete control over your responses.
You deserve to be loved and treated with respect. Some people are simply not capable of the standards we NEED from them because they need help.

Eventually she will back you into a corner small enough that you either get hurt, hurt her, or decide youve had enough and leave. How long will you wait to be forced to make that decision..?

I just want to add, in response to replies #5 and #10, that while therapy/counseling for the victims is extremely beneficial, it in no way negates or excuses the abusers behavior.

This is pasted from an article about someone related to a family friend:

A Maryland man, who CBS News has been told was an intelligence community official who worked at the NSA, has been charged with first-degree murder and child abuse resulting in the death of his 3-year-old adopted son, according to Montgomery County police.

The child, Hyunsu O Callaghan, died Feb. 3, and a medical examiner ruled his death a homicide by multiple blunt force injuries. According to court documents, Hyunsu was unresponsive when O Callaghan took him to a Germantown emergency room Feb. 1. The boy was transported to the Childrens National Medical Center in Wash., D.C., where doctors told police he had bleeding in the brain and hemorrhaging in the eyes, and that they were concerned the boy could be brain dead.
The injuries showed that Hyunsu was recently beaten, doctors told police.

These types of injuries are consistent with acute head trauma and Brian OCallaghan could not provide an explanation that would cause this type of medical distress to Hyunsu, read the documents.
O Callaghan told police that the child had slipped in the bathtub Jan. 31, falling backward and hitting his shoulder. The next day, after an outing with O Callaghans biological son Aiden, O Callaghan said he noticed mucus coming from the boys nose when he checked on him as he took a nap. He also noticed a pink stain on the bedding, according to the documents.

As he cleaned Hyunsus nose and changed the bedding, the boy did not wake up, according to the documents.
When O Callaghans checked on him an hour later, he told police there was a large amount of mucous coming from the boys nose and he began to vomit, though he remained unresponsive. O Callaghan said he then drove the boy to the Germantown emergency room.

The boys injuries included a skull fracture with bleeding on the front and back of the brain with multiple impacts to the head. His body also showed multiple contusions, and there was evidence of impact trauma on the boys scrotum, according to the documents.


Not sure if it has been reported in any of the articles, but I've been told the father suffered from PTSD, which was not made known to the agencies when the child was adopted.
Please tell me, if this child didnt die from his injuries, would going to therapy have saved him? Should mom just chalk it up to "Dad needs help"?
DONT WAIT FOR SOMEONE TO KILL YOU.

A very good point. But I find it very odd that we are talking about a violent woman and the article is about a violent man.

Especially since:

According to a 2009 report from the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, that year 27.3 percent of child deaths resulting from abuse were perpetrated by the mother, compared to only 14.8 percent of fathers. Mothers and fathers acting together accounted for 22.5 percent of child deaths.

from:

http://blog.chron.com/momhouston/2011/04/moms-killing-their-children-more-common-than-you-think/

I believe that we don't hear much about men being abused because usually those incidents are not reported therefore, I also believe the statistics are not accurate in many cases.

Unfortunately is much harder for a man to report or even say anything about it. The way most societies are today, any man who is brave enough to even mention something , is normally bullied, considered week and looked down.
I also think that this should change , it's time for people to start realizing that there are many men being abused worldwide.

Dave, the point of my post was focusing on violence resulting in death, so I'm not sure what youre getting at about gender. To me, gender is irrelevant. Abuse is the same regardless of whos dishing it out.

I posted from that particular article because my boyfriends family is close with the childs mothers family.

I think you know this relationship can't last the way it's going. Her violent outbursts and verbal abuse will only get worse, and if you have a child with this woman, she will start abusing the child instead of you. It doesn't matter how pleasant she is to be around "most of the time" if she loses her temper and gets violent. No wonder she is worried you will leave her... she deserves to be left. The fact that she isn't even willing to go to counseling shows a total lack of motivation to be with you, she wants everything on her terms. She's manipulating you with the little girl routine and the abandonment issues so you'll feel guilty and stay with her, regardless of how she behaves. She probably does have a serious mental disorder, but that doesn't excuse her violence and it doesn't mean you have to stick by her while she wreaks havoc on you and the kids you might have together. If you stay, you're sending the message that her behavior is acceptable and she will only get worse until someone goes to jail or to the hospital. Your wife sounds a lot like my mom, and my dad was too loyal to leave "a sick" woman. My dad's loyalty to her and his not wanting her to feel abandoned was nice - in theory, but his honor meant that I had to suffer years of physical and emotional abuse. Interesting article, Shine posted... my mom gave me multiple skull fractures too - that stuff DOES happen, it doesn't matter if the abuser is male or female, abuse is abuse. There is no honor in staying married to a crazy violent woman, especially if you bring children into it. Leave while you still can, and find a woman that doesn't need to be fixed. Maybe get some therapy to figure out why you are drawn to damsels in distress so you don't get involved with the same kind of woman again.