Healthy Relationships Support Group
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My wife and I had a big fight. If I yell or raised my voice. She go crazy and do stuff like telling me to move out that day or she said she going to call the police on me. She picked up a chair and throws it. We just have an argument and she act like I have cheated or abuse her. She keep calling me " a bitch" She apologize for it after she calms down. It happens about every 3 months. When she not upset, she is very submissive and very unsure on herself.I keep trying to assure her how pretty she is or try to help out anyway. She always talk as if I'm going to leave her or I got something else to do. What should I do? I have ask to go to counseling with me for her personal problems but she refuse. She always act like she don't need it. Is the writing the wall? Is she biopolar?
From what you are saying it appears that ye guys are experiencing communication problems, and let's be honest, it takes two to tango.
I agree, that counseling for yourself to start is a good idea. The other thing you can do to try to get to her is to record on your phone a voice note, when she yells and screams, take photos and possibly even record what's going on on hidden camera.
I suggest this for two reasons - 1 is sometimes when people are in a fit of rage they have no recollection later of what they have done. Playing back something like this can have an effect when they are calm.
2 nd reason - it is evidence against her should you ever call the police and it may come to this.
She legally can not make you move out. If you are both paying rent or mortgage or living together, she actually has to evict you.
At one point you may consider leaving, because if she refuses to get help, it may be your best solution to stop this.
It could be communication problems but after all the years that I have been dealing with explosive temperaments, and getting an apology request after every storm....I don't think it will ever change...there's got be more than just communication issues. Something triggers that anger and that has to be treated.
For all the years I noticed that he apologizes but it's only a matter of time...sooner or later he will do it again and then ...another apology . It's a "Mary go'round".
My husband also needs help, but the same as your wife ...he refuses it.
I would advise you to seek counseling for yourself. I got it for myself and for my daughter.
If the police are called in the middle of one of her fits, it is still likely that YOU will be the one arrested. Evidence is VERY VERY important. Document everything. When she does what, what damage she did to what.
I'd also like everybody (except Aronia) to take a moment and imagine that this were a woman asking about a man throwing chairs. I know this group, nearly everybody would be digitally screaming "get out!" "protect yourself!"
No, you shouldn't have to live in fear. This is an abusive violent and dangerous woman. And even from the "helping her through a rough time" standpoint, she is very unlikely to seek help if she doesn't have to.. meaning if you stay with her, it is really only enabling this kind of behavior. She won't see it her actions unless she has real consequences for them.
I wish you the best of luck, and I'm very sorry for what you are going through.
For all we know, when, as he says, she is being submissive, he is actually bullying her around. We have no idea of knowing what's going on.
Keep yourself SAFE. The names are not allowed either. You're being amused.
If the roles were reversed, every woman here would be screaming for you to get out. I for one stand behind the victim no matter who they are.