Healthy Relationships Support Group
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I've currently run into a bit of trouble with a friend of mine. She's always been a "job hopper", never able to stay in the same position for more than a couple of years before it got too troublesome, too hard, too easy, too boring, etc. Which, hey whatever, I'm not supporting her so that's her deal. She landed a really good job with a hospital nearby and she has now reached the "I'm bored" phase again and is planning on quitting. The reason that this is affecting me this time is that she has decided that selling stuff for this makeup company is really the way to go. (It's not Avon or Mary Kay, but it's along those lines.)
I feel like the only time she contacts me anymore is to see if I'm free to either attend one of these makeup hocking parties or to beg and plead for me to host one. I'm not interested in these products and they are OBSCENELY over priced. I'm only in my late 20's...I don't need a slew of $70 anti-aging creams. She knows how I feel about this because I've told her that I don't really consider this necessary for me, I don't have a complicated skin routine, and frankly just don't have that kind of money to throw into something like cosmetics. I only just recently got her off my back about hosting a party for her. I don't want a bunch of people in my house going on and on about this stuff when in reality, I just want to relax after work and call it a day. She's even been hitting up my mother. She knows I'm not interested, so she sends me texts asking if I have any plans for a certain day (and when I hesitantly say no), she immediately asks if I'll attend one of these stupid things for her. I'M NOT BUYING ANYTHING, WHY WOULD IT MATTER THAT I'M THERE.
She's been my best friend for most of my life, but I don't really consider it my place to support her financially when she's consciously deciding to leave her very good job for something like this. She's also giving up all of her retirement and health insurance benefits. Her husband has an okay job, but it doesn't offer any benefits like that and they have a young child. I know he's struggled before to allow her to make these "career calls" but I worry about what it's going to do for their home situation when she eventually dries up all her friend resources. They've gotten in to some dire straits before and ended up asking to borrow money from me and I don't want this happening again. I have my own responsibilities and bills to pay and don't think I should have to support her if things go bust. I live comfortably on my salary and do well, but I don't see that as cause to keep being asked to play the $$$ super hero.
She already knows how I feel about these things, but what more can I do to convey that I'm not interested? It's not even just that the products are overpriced, I just don't CARE about anything she's trying to sell. I hesitate on pointing out that she has a child and needs to maybe think about suffering through some boredom so that they have a consistent cash flow and benefits because I understand that that can be a touchy subject.
I feel like the only time she contacts me anymore is to see if I'm free to either attend one of these makeup hocking parties or to beg and plead for me to host one. I'm not interested in these products and they are OBSCENELY over priced. I'm only in my late 20's...I don't need a slew of $70 anti-aging creams. She knows how I feel about this because I've told her that I don't really consider this necessary for me, I don't have a complicated skin routine, and frankly just don't have that kind of money to throw into something like cosmetics. I only just recently got her off my back about hosting a party for her. I don't want a bunch of people in my house going on and on about this stuff when in reality, I just want to relax after work and call it a day. She's even been hitting up my mother. She knows I'm not interested, so she sends me texts asking if I have any plans for a certain day (and when I hesitantly say no), she immediately asks if I'll attend one of these stupid things for her. I'M NOT BUYING ANYTHING, WHY WOULD IT MATTER THAT I'M THERE.
She's been my best friend for most of my life, but I don't really consider it my place to support her financially when she's consciously deciding to leave her very good job for something like this. She's also giving up all of her retirement and health insurance benefits. Her husband has an okay job, but it doesn't offer any benefits like that and they have a young child. I know he's struggled before to allow her to make these "career calls" but I worry about what it's going to do for their home situation when she eventually dries up all her friend resources. They've gotten in to some dire straits before and ended up asking to borrow money from me and I don't want this happening again. I have my own responsibilities and bills to pay and don't think I should have to support her if things go bust. I live comfortably on my salary and do well, but I don't see that as cause to keep being asked to play the $$$ super hero.
She already knows how I feel about these things, but what more can I do to convey that I'm not interested? It's not even just that the products are overpriced, I just don't CARE about anything she's trying to sell. I hesitate on pointing out that she has a child and needs to maybe think about suffering through some boredom so that they have a consistent cash flow and benefits because I understand that that can be a touchy subject.
You may have to tell her straight up that you love her and that she is a dear friend but that you are just not interested in the whole make-up thing.
Hopefully after that she will knock it off.
Good Luck!
"I can't see myself ever buying those products, I use handsoap on my face" lol
"Oh, I would be bored to tears at that kind of party, but thanks for asking"
You don't have to explain yourself just say "NO"... Maybe pick up a book about setting boundaries. I read a really good one by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. It is titled .." Boundaries, when to say yes and when to say no"
Here's a quote issued by the Australian Competition & Consumer Association. Source: http://www.scamwatch.gov.au/content/index.phtml/tag/PyramidSchemes
"Pyramid schemes are illegal and very risky get-rich-quick schemes that can cost a lot of people a lot of money.
Promoters at the top of the pyramid make their money by having people join the scheme. Then they pocket the fees and other payments made by those who join under them.
In a typical pyramid scheme, a member pays to join. The only way for the member to ever recover any money is to convince other people to join up and to part with their money as well.
In contrast, people in legitimate multi-level marketing earn money by selling genuine products to consumers, not from the recruiting process. Be aware though, some pyramid scheme promoters disguise their true purpose by introducing products that are overpriced, of poor quality, difficult to sell or of little value. Making money out of recruitment is still their main aim."
I think perhaps this could be what's putting your knickers in a twist. She's been brainwashed by the excitement and challenge of making big bucks, but the catch is, she's got to recruit recruit recruit.
I can completely understand your frustration with this, and it's hard watching a longtime friend go down that road. It's a tough spot you're in and you may have to be a little more forward with her. I'd be tempted to go to a meeting to see what goes on.
I wouldn't be able to just stand by and say nothing. I'd say, 'Honey I love you, but I'm not comfortable with this, I think it might be an MLM scheme. I don't want to get involved and my mother doesn't either.'
I wish you luck with this.
Only you know what is right for you and your friendship but if she keeps ignoring your "no's" and "no thanks" you may want to consider spending time with other friends.
Is she an integral part of your friendship circle? Is she this aggressive with your other friends?
They NEVER work. Mostly that's how the Africans earn money. (all those emails from Nigeria, C'ote D'Ivoire, etc looking money 12 Years ago)
I also had a friend that sold Mary Kay, she was my roommate at the time, and she used to literally chase me around the house with products trying to get me to try them. What is it with these companies that turn people into nut jobs? I don't want your $20 shower gel, get out of the bathroom! Our house was overrun with the stuff, the kitchen cabinets had Mary Kay products in them that she was trying to move, and I found stuff all over the house with little post-it notes attached, saying things like "this mascara is great, I can sell you the full size if you like it" or "even my boyfriend likes face scrub!" It's complete freaking insanity.
You had me totally laughing at the thought of your roommate leaving MK stuff all over. The MK gal I know would give us "gifts" to try and get us into the products. Yuck. No thanks. I'll stick with my drug store items.
I'm with you.
I really hate when people do that.
If she is really your best friend, maybe an honest conversation needs
To happen.
What she is doing is in bad taste and is inappropriate .