My childhood was too unstable for childhood bonding, but I am old enough to have experienced this sort of long-term relationship drifting in my adult relationships --most especially within the therapy support network I have worked for 40+ years-- and I was able to witness ^it^ as my now middle-aged children grew into adulthood. Dunno if that is enough common ground for valid opinions, but. . . I believe those are growing pains. Keeping ^it^ strictly personal within my therapy support network, the deep bonding that happens when we share healing experiences creates personal growth which requires us to move on in order to nurture the growth of healing. It hurt each and every time those precious friends and I drifted apart, but. . . Girl howdy, I am grateful for those bonds, even when it hurts to honor them.

And then there are those joyous cases where we drift back together, healthier and more grounded for the separation but every bit as deeply bonded. Oh happy day! ! ! Poetry in motion. Let the new chapter begin. . .

Don't know if we are discussing the same phenom, but I thought I'd throw ^it^ out there. Just guessing. . .

Attempted humor warning:
My advice is to research the source before you even consider the advice, especially on the internet. The internet makes it possible for snakes to look like wise old owls.

I've never had a situation like this but I'll give you a hug as support for feeling hurt....xo

It takes time to make new friends and to find oneself comfortable with new activities and people, even with jobs. If we mature and change, our friendship usually change because we are not the same people we were back in high school or college. I have also lost good friends, good people, when I was being too needy for them. I can now see that I was very self involved in wanting my needs met by my friends when I really needed counseling. Sometimes we just overwhelm people or they overwhelm us. I also had a friend who complained that I did not give her enough attention and how she was so lonely and her life sucked. When I did do things with her, she would on purpose take an hour to finish her drink so I had to sit and wait to leave. Most people did not like her because she came across as weird and negative and I realized that her self centeredness was not good for me. So I have been in both shoes, the needy one and the annoyed one. What has helped me the most is to try to gain a new perspective on things by looking deep within to see how my behavior has played a part in things and then work on myself to change what no longer serves me well. And yes, the loss of a friendship does take time to heal and it does leave a temporary hole in our heart. Make that several friendships and it hurts more.

Hello SplicedBread,
In high school, I had a weird dynamic with my friends. I had my best friend that I have known since the 4th grade and there were times where we grew apart but came back. He would always find some other friend group that I wouldn’t care for and spend all of his time with him. I basically coped with this by finding some person I didn’t know that well and forcing them to be my “best friend.” Now my best friend is in the navy and won’t be back for a couple more years. I still keep this trend going and I have found a friend that I am really close with and would now legitimately consider a best friend.

I’m actually in college right now as well. My best friend is in his second year in the navy and my next two closest friends still live in our home town. I have been lucky enough to live in a town with a great college, so I can live at home. The thing is, even though we live close together we never see each other and when we do all we do is play video games. We never actually talk anymore. I feel like I should stop being their friends, but I know that I am their best friend. I know that they are way less social than I am which makes me really want to be here in case they need anything. I really do care about them as people however we never have anything to talk about. It is always the same thing when we talk. I wish we would actually talk about things that mattered however I seem to miss chunks of their lives and they don’t catch me up when we do get the chance to talk. I don’t know if they even think that there is anything wrong but I can feel us growing apart and wonder how long being friends since high school will keep us together.

One thing that I know with this friend group is that my best friend and I would always plan any events that the group of us would do. Since he has left for the navy it has all fallen upon me to plan everything and for the past two years we haven’t hung out much outside of me planning the event. The event could range from going to a movie or going fishing, but I always did most of the leg work and it has worn on me over the years and now that I don’t see them everyday I have taken a step back and hoped that if they would want to see me they would plan something, but alas I still have to do the leg work if I want to do something with them. My friend in the navy would plan events but since he has been

I hope this is what you were looking for. I know I did give a strategy that worked for me, but that was pure coincidental. Maybe it is a trial and error thing. And after awhile of looking for friends to fill the gap left by your old friends you finally find someone who fits well enough with you and a friendship is born.

I wish you luck with how you handle your situation,

Skywalker46

It’s hard to make friends if you never quite fit in to the crowd. I ve been dealing with it all my life and I just came to accept that friendships come and go. It doesn’t make it easier.. rejection of any form is painful when you want to belong.
You will meet new people. It just takes time and effort

RE:
Update to original post.

Thank you all for your supporting words and experiences to share with me.

Often times I get discouraged from finding and forging new relationships because the busy lifestyle I live in college has absorbed most of my time, as well as feeling that no new people can really fill that void that the previous group could fill.

And that is entirely true, but another angle I can look at is that often times its okay that nobody else can fill the role the old group served as. Everyone is different and each leaves a different impact on yourself and your surrounding.
Moving forward, I will remember my previous group for all the good times we had and shift off the negative feelings that drifting apart has caused.

Thank you all for your words once more.
~ SB

Sorry if I am too blunt, but your ex friends should grow a pair and talk to you about the FB post instead of getting offended and silently block you. In my view, that's a pretty cowardly thing to do. With that being said, I don't/would not post things in FB, using it as a journal in a way. I know it's like therapy to get your emotions out into the world and talk to people about it, but you have too many lurkers in FB. Not everyone on your contact list are friends. I call them CCTV. So just be mindful of that. I don't want to be lecturing, but it has happened to me in the past, so I'm just sharing.

You will find new people in your life, I'm sure. Sometimes, people in our lives drift apart and we find new people. It's a blessing if you can find a friend that you can hang out with for your entire life.

@zeezee
That is very much true. I typically do not post things publicly out on Facebook. This was from twitter where they know my handle and such.

But I do understand your sentiment about not spitting everything out into the open because often times not all people on your friends lists are actually your friends.

I do agree with them being too afraid to approach me. As of now they still have not done anything to contact me back. To me they were worth a lot more because our group had gone through a lot together, but times do change and I am always looking for new opportunities now.

This is a very common experience in adulthood. I recently returned to my home town after many years away. Some friends still clicked with me and embraced me right away, others couldn't seem to make the time to catch up with me at all.

It can be very painful to lose friendships because in some way we expect them to last forever. Unlike a romantic relationship, where a breakup is always an obvious possibility, friendship can seem infinite. It's painful to realize that is not always the case. Try to remember that just because a friendship ended, that doesn't mean it wasn't meaningful while it lasted :)

There is also the possibility that you will reconnect with some of these people years down the road. There have been times when I didn't see someone for years, and then one day we met up again and our friendship picked up right where it left off, only we were older and wiser. Human relationships can be quite nuanced and complex. Sometimes an end isn't really an end at all, just a break.

And always look forward!! Perhaps the best part of returning to my home town was discovering and becoming close to new friends. There will always be new friends.