Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I am new to being openly gay. I only came out 4 years ago. I found my best friend and husband only a year after, and I felt so blessed. We have been married for 2 years, and I love him more now than the day we got married. I know, it sounds super cliche, but I truly love him; I love spending time with him, being silly, having sex, running errands, doing chores, spending time with family and friends together, all of it. I even love that when we fight, he makes a conserted effort to listen to me, try to understand my position, and he is accountable for the things he does wrong. We aren't perfect, and there is sometimes verbal abuse and extreme defensiveness, but we always resolve our differences quickly, we both acknowledge our wrongdoings, we apologize, and over the years, I have seen a dramatic change in him as he evolves to be a better husband and man every day.
It's not perfect, but it is wonderful, and I am very happy.
Yet, sometimes I feel a yearning for the touch and romance of others. I won't leave my husband; to risk losing such an amazing marriage would be foolish. But I hear on TV, TedTalks, YouTube contributers, from friends, and from others I know about of their experiences with polyamory. The ones I respect the most stay completely committed to their marriage, and only seek to experience intimacy with someone outside of the marriage if and when both spouses are aware, consent, and are emotionally comfortable with it. Openess and complete transparency and agreement are the keys they say.
My husband is opposed to ever seeking other romantic situations for himself. He is an introvert, and he says that he only wants to have that intimacy with me, since it is consuming to try to invest himself that way in more than one person.
I however am a total extrovert, and I love being with people, platonically of course. But I wonder if I also need many people in my life intimately? Or, is it plain old horny lust, wanting to raid the pastry shop only to leave with a belly ache?
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
I feel better about myself when I channel my cravings for outside intimacy down platonic lines. Sex is not the only route to loving in deeply intimate ways.
shop eagerly drooling looking in? By the way Hey Welcome.My name is Osheana and I
am here only like 4 months. It is a great group. Really great people.First of all not sure how old
you are.Certainly you are blessed to have found your loving mate.Now if you have an agreement
to not have sex outside the marriage dont not until your spouse is in agreement ,My word of advice
don't pressure him either.Other suggestions: Role play let him dress up like different people that you
fantasize about.You can also role play and dress up as such as this can work as a passionate outlet for
letting off some of your sexual steam. Remember also is he against you looking but not touching?
Do you engage in watching films together - because maybe if there are specific people that
you find you are sexually attracted to- you can confide in your spouse and talk about it/fantasy of the people you find attractive while you and him are engaged intimately.(Kind of like verbal foreplay.So take care
and stand across the street from the pastry shop!!!!!!!!!!! (lol).
I would really think about this..... I think 'lust' sums it up and you would have a lot to lose unless your husband is on board with it....
Having lots of friends are great..... Intimate partners maybe not so much
We also have a Healthy Sex board that might be a place for some feedback
Welcome......xo
"It's not perfect, but it is wonderful, and I am very happy. " is that is what you have, wow - that is valuable beyond description
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Figure out what your personal boundaries are. I’m an extrovert and don’t feel the need to take anything beyond friendship with anyone. If I did I’d not be married..
I get we are all different and there are non traditional relationships that work. But be sure your marriage and your care of each other is solid, for real.
Marriage is hard and wonderful and everything in between. Take good care of it.
If you would have made these needs known before marriage and had an open marriage, then it would be different. BUT you are trying to redefine years later. Not really fair.
I have friends that have an open marriage but the definition of their marriage was stated BEFORE they were ever married. It is still sometimes a struggle for them,but at least neither one of them pulled the rug out from under the other one years after "I do"....