A couple days ago, my boyfriend and I had a huge argument. We had agreed to do something that night, and he came over insinuating that he had plans with his friends. This is not uncommon, he will always make plans with me and then back out last minute, or say that he wants to play things "by ear". It irritates me because I feel like I am a) suffocating him into doing something and b) a last option to hanging out with his friends. Finally the tension was so bad, that we just got into an argument. He told me that he needed "air" and when I suggested that we take space from one another, he seemed to step back in hesitance and regret the needing "air" comment. He told me that I am always negative and always have an attitude, and that every day there's tension between us because I AM the one starting a fight or bringing the negativity.He also said (VERBATIM) that he places me at a lower value than his friends because he's known them longer and they're more important to him. I was stunned to hear this, because I care for him so deeply that often I offer to hook up dinner, lend him my car, do his laundry, and want to see him. The only time I am irritated is when he backs out or blows hot and cold (which he admits to having a problem with). The night before, he made a comment about my breasts, and said "wow those things really lay to the side when you lay back huh". It hurt me so deeply, because I am so self conscious about my boobs (they are big and gravity has gotten the best of them). About two months into our relationship he told me he had herpes, and told me he didn't cheat but 95% of cases manifest within a week's contracting of it... only 5% are latent for 6 months or more. I let it slide, but this guys has dropped bombs on me throughout our time together. I love and care for him more than anything, and when things are good, they are amazing and wonderful. My heart is broken. I haven't been able to sleep or eat. Friday night, after our big fight, I went back over to his place a couple hours later, and he took it back claiming it was work stress and told me how much he cared about me and how happy he was with me. Saturday night came, and we texted cutely and nicely to each other. Finally this morning I called to say hello, and he offerend no interest in seeing me or hanging out with me, and was very standoffish on the phone. The phone call lasted two minutes, and I had no clue what he did the night before or how he was feeling. He just kind of was blah. He didn't seem interested to talk to me or do anything. That was the last straw. I can't keep going hot and cold with him. I have lost 8 pounds in a month over the stress of not eating and anxiety from all of this. I'm constantly taking Klonopin to kill the pain, and when I'm not on it, I have withdrawals and sickness combined with the stress of this guy. I finally sent him a text saying.. "Hey, i thought a lot about the last few days. I know we're both busy but would love to speak with you. I think the best solution to this would be for me to take some space for the week because you know how I deeply I care for you and I want to get back to that happy place". This guy does not communicat well. I sent him this an hour and a half ago and still haven't heard back. I am terrified that he is going to read it and be like "she's always starting drama, I'm so done with this, thank god she sent me that because now I can finally say yeah, I need space too." So therefore, it could backfire in my face. On the other end, if he's willing to understand that I could potentially walk away, he will do everything in his power to change and show me he cares. I'm at a crossroads, and regret sending the message, but am so sick of compromising my physical and emotional health over someone who I feels like one day, puts me at the center of his world, and the next, looks at me as if I am nothing. Was I right in sending this? I don't want to break up, I just want to send him a message, but am terrified I am stirring up drama and another "40 minute conversation about feelings" that he doesn't want to have- he claims I am always trying to talk about my feelings. But I am truly unhappy. Thanks