During every wedding ceremony I photograph, I hear the pastor say something like "men submit to their wives and wives submit to their husbands the way Christ loved the church". A lot of truth in that. Is this spirit of submission (in the hopes that you'll get what you need from your mate) the secret to success in a relationship or marriage? I don't want to be a doormat, but if I try to rule over someone, she'll walk out the door too...I want to deal with her as a peer but try to gently push things in the direction of sex and affection...is there some common ground?

What worked really well for me in my last relationship was I provided a comfort zone for her to relax. Then I gently, gently (because she was shy) started to get affectionate, which led to deeper feelings of sexual attraction (for both of us). But we were lukewarm and never quite got red-hot like I wanted. Maybe it was me; maybe it was her, maybe it was both of us. I do know that any woman loves amorous attention. It's all about her.

This is probably the eternal question LOL...