(((HUGS))) I really don't know what to tell you. I'm sorry you are going through this. If you are being worn down and you feel your children are suffering then by all means you need to do what's best for your own mental health. I also suggest you look into AlAnon to help you cope.

That a very sad and tough situation that you and your family are going through right now my prayers go out to you. I think you have to be the one to make the final decision in regards to leaving your husband.

What I do feel comfortable telling you is that if he can't stop drinking and stay in a treatment program long enough to help him overcome his addiction and even then he may still have to attend AA meetings to keep on track things for you and your kids will definitely get worse and in my opinion dangerous.

In saying that a few suggestions that you might want to consider is seeking support from family, friends and programs that can help you in setting up a place for you to go with your kids and making sure you all have the basics that you need or if you can and it is safe to stay in the place you are living and your husband can't have easy access to then that would be another alternative. My point is that for right now this is way too much for you to handle all alone.

You know that for right now things are not healthy or safe for you or the kids or even for your husband at this point. You are already drained and stressed out with the current living situation and if you get sick who is there that you can depend on to help and take care of the kids? I just feel that the first step is for right now is to get help and support from others and put some space between you and your husband. By doing that it will give you some time to sort out your feelings, get back in control and have a sense of peace that you and the kids are going to be alright.

As for your husband only time will tell if he will decide to get the help he needs to get better. I hope that he can and will. But in the meantime because of the circumstances you are under right now I do feel it would be wise to not be living with him. I am not saying you have to divorce him or continue to try and convince him to get help as I feel once you are in a stable environment you will be able to determine what direction you want to go for your future.

Anyway I do hope that you will check out all the support options you can so you are not carrying such a heavy load. You can worry about the rest later but for now I do strongly advise you put some distance between yourself and your husband. Wishing you the very best and hoping the future will bring all of you much happier days.:)

This is tragic, CM. P S and, for that matter, almost any personality disorder, are incredibly difficult to deal with, let alone live with on a daily basis. I've worked with many personality disordered ppl over the years (probation officer) and, while there are periods of time when things are good, things seem to always break down. Whether it be a self-medication issue or the meds stop being effective/less effective, stress, or who knows what else, symptoms seem to resurface.

What to do? I wish I had answers for you. I know you already feel the wrenching double bind, and some/all your children are P S as well? OK, then they've gotta be 18+, right--unless onset was extremely early? Even so, that's little help. You certainly have to be there for the kids, if any are under 18 and at least in some way, regardless of age.

Unfortunately, if he's not going to do treatment voluntarily, it may lead down the path that the law is violated by him before he gets the help he really needs to stabilize. If he gets to the point he's delusional all bets are off. Again, I'm sure you already know this.

My experience has been with ppl who've already come to the attention of police, and either stabilized on meds willingly, or even against their will in a psych hospital thru an evaluative process.

My heart goes out to you CM. I don't have any good answers.

As Katie said, you need a support system, some one who's there for you and can help with the kids, or groceries, cooking, whatever. You need to take care of you! It's tooooo easy to get sucked into this and forget yourself but, again, you already know that. It's part of why you're here.

You've probably played this out a million times, but what happens if you leave, with any kids under 18 and others who will come? W/O knowing your resources, it's hard to suggest options.

One thing...if you could catch him on a better day you may be able to get him to sign a durable power of attorney letter. You'll have to consult an attorney to do so, and no guarantee he'll sign it. He knows he's ill when he's stable, but now, when suffering symptoms, that may not be the case. With that you may be able to have him committed until he stabilizes.

(((((((((((((hugs and prayers)))))))))))))

They are right. Often spouses neglect themselves caring for a sick spouse. Before they know it they are not able to care for the spouse or themselves and you got kids in the mix. (((HUGS)))

Wow, I'm so sorry. Audio hallucinations made worse by alcohol. That's a tough one! Do the kids share any of their father's hallucinations? Have they inherited any of this through genetics?

Wedding vows say "in SICKNESS and in health" but when you reach that point where you're so depleted caring for his illness that you're no good for him or yourself anymore, I dunno, the ole survival self-preservation instinct kicks in and makes me want to take the kids and leave...in a SPRINT. He's under medical care. They're doing the best anyone can. But that's just me.

Sounds like a he is going through something really difficult internally and you are probably the only person, other than himself and his doctors, can help him get through this and get back on track. IDK if it related to the stress of changing jobs, moving, worrying about providing for the family...try to convince him to take his medication and maybe then he can listen to you.
It is a really difficult illness to deal with for him and his family. My main concern in this situation would be safety of you and your children.
Is there a way to get the kids out of the house until the school starts so they do not have to see this?
It has to be really hard for you to watch him slip away into his awful world.
I think if he is left alone he will just continue to deteriorate.
It is a really tough decision, but sometimes we have to choose between saving the husband and saving the kids.
I am hoping that your love and persistence will steer him in the right direction and things will improve.
Best wishes.

the voices will never go away. medication does not stabilize that. it only calms the person down. he needs cognitive therapy. personalized therapy. he may have gone through trauma. people start hallucinating usually if they see no light at the end of the tunnel. drinking only supresses the real problem. get him counseling. wtih proper medication. but you must know medication may slow him down.

I believe that if you are married to him, you should be with him in the good and in the bad. He needs help and maybe you do too to cope with him and the kids. There are many resources: therapy, church and members there, family, and organiizations. Look threw the internet. marriage is not easy, but if you love him, I think you should not leave him alone in his illness. Take courage and continue.