Who's to say what's normal, some people get the marriage gitters, are nervous and anxious, some people aren't.

Are you nervous about the wedding itself, about being married, about wondering if you're doing the right thing, about the future, etc.

I wasn't nervous about getting married at all. The thing I was anxious about was the wedding itself. I didn't want a wedding, I just wanted to get married in a JP's office, just H and I but parents whine way too much so we compromised and had a very small formal wedding.

thanks for your reply.... i'm not nervous/ scared about the actual marriage to the person I'm marring.... I love her with all my heart and know she is my 'soulmate'

we've been living together for years, almost our entire relationship, and we have been through 'lots' together.... i think what has me nervous is the logistics of the thing... like we have everything planned out and that issue of wedding planning is done, i guess that both of our families are 'interesting', so thats something that has me on edge....

also, i guess people tend to hype up marriage, and sometimes make it this large than life thing, maybe that is sort of have me on edge?

You're not nervous about who you're marrying or getting married and that's the important part.

The wedding itself is just a few hours out of a lifetime together. IMO, people put way too much focus on the wedding day and not enough focus on the long-term marriage which is why they're there.

Don't sweat the small stuff and the wedding itself is very small in comparison to being married. If the cake falls off the table, if a bridesmaid trips walking down the aisle, if it pours rain, none of that matters in the long run.

I just videotaped a wedding on Saturday, the bride and groom were both in their 40s, had known each other forever, it was not the first marriage for either of them, but he was still so damned nervous before the ceremony he was about to pass out.

I think it's just the ceremony itself, "performing", "acting", in front of all those people, those family members, who you know are going to be scrutinizing you, that's giving you the jitters. Try to look directly into her eyes, just focus on her, her warmth, her smile, and tune out the rest of them. Think Kevin Costner in Dances with Wolves, when he married Stands With a Fist. He was so into her, the contours of her shape, that he didn't even realize when Kicking Bird, the holy man, pronounced them wed.

How often do you get to see the fam? If not often, think of it as "I only have to deal with these people a few hours today and then we'll move away from them, out of state" or whatever.

This particular groom actually asked me to stand out of his way, in a narrow aisle, so he could see his bride walking toward him (10 seconds before it happened). I had to politely explain that, if I do that, she'll be a little upset when she watches the video and can't see herself walking up that aisle, arguably the most important part, the money shot, so I moved 3 feet forward and he said that was OK. Geez!

Yes, I think people put WAY too much emphasis on this one fairy-tale day, and, yes, this one day does tend to raise the bar a bit, of expectations, but, if you've known this woman forever, you already know that a lifetime of marriage requires a flexibility and a sense of humor, sadly lacking in this one day, when everything has to be "perfect" (if there were such a thing).

I'm making money off videotaping weddings, and am quite good at hustling, chasing the people around and capturing them beautifully, but, personally, I find weddings, especially large, elaborate weddings, annoying, stressful and a collossal waste of money. If I ever propose marriage to someone, I'll play along with whatever she and her family want, of course, especially if I'm not paying the bill, but I really hope my future honey is OK with a very simple and intimate gathering on the beach (!).

It's about publicly pronouncing your love for each other in front of God and witnesses. The rest is fluff, bling, dazzle, and really has nothing to do with love or marriage. People are way too uptight about this one day, and about marriage in general, being "perfect" (if there were such a thing), when the reality, and the beauty, of love, marriage and life in general, lies in IM-perfections, quirks, things that make you laugh, burping or farting, leaving the cap off the toothpaste or the toilet seat improperly up or down, etc. Crack open the veil, the veneer, look into her eyes and warm smile, and you'll see the love, what it's all about, pouring through.

You guys have planned this wedding down to the nth detail...now relax and enjoy. And, yes, if the bridesmaid trips or the cake falls on the floor or it rains, it WOULD be funny! Adapt, be flexible and laugh. The ceremony is the tough part. After that, after everyone has a few drinks (if you're serving alcohol) and starts dancing, it'll be a great fiesta!

"If I ever propose marriage to someone...AND SHE SAYS YES", of course lol.